kaitlyn

i’ve got people to pickle

new home who dis

a moment of silence for me
nothing is wrong, i’m just overstimulated

dog dog cat

as sharp as a marble as they are, that’s just too logical

you make a really strong point

i like
big butts
and i plead the fifth

hoping for the elvis presley special soon

Kids’ immune systems always know when you are under immense pressure to get a lot of detail-oriented work done.

which is even funnier to me since i work in a “male field” in tech and usually am the only woman in the room

repeating a joke a male coworker said because no one heard him and then getting more laughs

✨women in male fields✨

“the best life
future wife
don’t give him a knife”

i was told the hockey players would kiss?

It feels like someone has my nerves in a jar and they’re shaking it how are you doing

they should invent a vape pen but it delivers unagi sashimi

get your head out of your boobs

sometimes I forget who the fuck I am

sure it’s big enough, BUT look at the location

the fact that my (natural) red hair caused a full crash out is deeply entertaining and objectively hilarious behavior

Wishing a meaningful & reflective Mark Wahlberg 40 Day Challenge to all who observe.

you’re washed up
irrelevant
and standing in my light

When someone tells me how old their child is I say "that's such a fun age" even if it's 37

appreciate it! wear sunscreen!

or maybe it’s the weed pen i hit in the parking lot before my procedure

how i know my antidepressants are working lol

skin cancer is a bummer but at least they put you in an upgraded waiting room with snacks and drinks

ATTENTION: If You Watched Kid Rock at the Turning Point USA Half-Time Show, You May Have Been Exposed to Measles

someone asked my son what we’re doing for the superbowl and he said, “what’s a superbowl?”

i couldn’t be prouder