Rob

I heard someone say “it’s been half a decade since lockdown” and I immediately started having a panic attack

*cybertruck blows up in front of Trump hotel*

“You really gotta spell it out for people these days” - God

Another Christmas, another opportunity to disappoint my mother by not giving her a picture of a sonogram in card like she’s been expecting for the last 4 years (I’m a millennial)

Nancy Pelosi falling and it making national news really makes me realize how old our political leaders are. I mean at this point, if you wanted to take out a politician all you’d have to do is start putting banana peels all over Capitol Hill 😭

If I was in that McDonald’s when cops busted in, I would be repeating that story at every family gathering, birthday party, wedding, holiday, bbq, party, get together, job interview, or any conversation I have with another person, for the rest of my life.

The irony that he turned out be handsome is hilarious

The Mcdonalds CEO was like “nah I’m not about to be next, here you want the snack wrap back take it, just don’t shoot me.”

“to smithereens” has got to be the worst way to get blown

Cool, so unconcentrated camps?

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade is just 3 hours of the hosts going “and look who it is on the Hot Wheels float, that random artist you don’t know singing their smash hit that you’ve definitely heard in a target ad!”

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Except those of you who celebrate by partaking in a Turkey Trot 5k, wtf are you people doing?

This girl on my team at work just had her second child. Im just totally confused as to how we both make the same amount of money, but she’s somehow able to afford to care for two children while I can barely afford to eat out at a nice restaurant?

You think you know rage? Oh yea? You ever been stuck behind a group of blissfully unaware women taking up an entire NYC sidewalk as they yap about their boyfriends while walking at a pace that would only be acceptable in a nursing home?

People who still put multiple cities in their bio on social media like
“NYC|LA|Columbus” bro just say ur from Ohio 😭

“We need to keep men out of women’s spaces!” They shouted as they openly support the guy who went into a women’s dressing room and sexually assaulted someone

People will see that headline and legitimately think to themselves “see, he’s already bringing prices down and he’s not even in office yet” 🤦🏼‍♂️

I feel like podcasts and conservative media are the embodiment of what our boomer parents thought video games were going to do to us 90’s kids

Politicians should be forced to wear logos of companies on their suits like the drivers in NASCAR, this way we know who bought them 👍🏼

Are they putting anesthesia in these gummies?! I woke up feeling like I just got out of a 12 hour surgery 😭

I feel like it’s been Black Friday for 6 months. If I get one more ad it’s gonna be a red Friday for everyone

Waking up in your 30’s is the best.

Well rested, no hangover, and most importantly- I know exactly where my phone, wallet and keys are!

The ONLY downside to being a dog owner is having to walk them in the rain 😩

Side note, it’s 30 degrees and raining. That doesn’t make sense. It should always only be snowing when it’s that cold.

I love how the community here can be respectful while engaging in discourse and not immediately say the most hateful shit they could possibly think of when someone disagrees.

It’s also kind of sad how that’s a refreshing feeling on social media.

I think the gov has an intern running the weather machine because wtf is happening in New York?

We just needed SOME rain, not Noah’s Arc level flooding with 30mph winds and freezing temps.

Too much too soon babe 😩

My favorite part about this app is that it’s essentially a carbon copy of Twitter, minus Elon musk and all the racism 👍🏼