Comandante Starkins

honestly none of the factions that could possibly make an play for power want him. He’d get the Sonny Corleone treatment as soon as he lands on Iranian soil - it’s the one thing they’d agree on

Be the Supreme Leader of SAAS! How the Reign of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Can Teach AI Forward Brands to Write Emails That Sell!

The next Ayatollah should be a Trans WOC

it’s the “civilized west” vs the “dangerous orient” at the end of the day

they’d have him drop out of the chopper so he goes down the slide

absolutely, he’s gonna land on the ship via helicopter

We gotta be a british colony again for 10 years, just time to figure this whole thing out, then start again. American reboot.

There’s gonna be a dirty bomb attack because the FBI Director canceled an emergency briefing to yell “This Is Monster Jam!” at Camping World Stadium in Orlando

make a video about how Iran is the biggest threat to your freedom

gonna go spend years of your life wearing uniforms on a base or ship that’s 99.9% guys after going through training that you and other sweaty guys being yelled at by an old queen about your marching being off sync? Ok Liberace.

Serving your country is gay. Joining the military means you’re gay for America. You’re gonna go across the world to kill a stranger you’d never meet otherwise to impress 175m men? Gay.

Iran launching a ground invasion of UAE and taking “Digital Nomads” and alchoholic over-tanned british women hostage

It’s been terrifying to have almost every year in the past 20 years be a lesson in how many people with power make decisions about who lives and dies with little thought or care or even a clear idea as to why they’re doing anything, and it’s terrifying that it seems to be getting worse

also all of this has nothing to do with American interests it’s christian freaks in the Republican party trying to fulfill end of days prophecies because they think Jesus will come back

So we basically went into this saying Iran is the middle east therefore desert and goat herders and getting rid of experts thad realize it’s actually a modern nuclear power with an army thats been dreaming of this for 50 years and well planned line of leadership transfer. Nice work

“I didn’t bomb a school so I could come home and and pay full price at this Best Western.”

Sorry for your loss. On behalf of a grateful nation we present you with the rarest of pepes

t hi is reminds me of this lady one of my friends was briefly thinking of marrying who talked about her hero husband in heaven and really he died because he was drunk in london and laid down on train tracks

Iran launching a ground invasion of UAE and taking “Digital Nomads” and alchoholic over-tanned british women hostage

Nervous because so many of my IG thirst follows areen Dubai. Please be Ok, Vladi Galagan

So “111” in Jenkintown was a tug joint forever and now it’s a jerk joint

the guy who did this is going to expect to be thanked for his service and given 20% at IHOP

I’m team fuck the troops - anyone willingly signing up to kill people for this administration deserves whatever they get. Defund the VA for all I care.

Fuck the troops.

Little brownies is where they have the good ones. Out here in ventura country it’s all ABC Bakery and I have to go into LA for real GS Cookies

Love the concept a 300 year old supreme leader finally meeting his match against a sundowning gameshow host elected by the biggest idiots alive

From what I can tell, the Persian Community in los angeles is celebrating this by being terrible drivers and overdoing it with the cologne

No more Ayatollahs that are nasty to Mr Trump the next Ayatollah needs to treat Mr Trump fairly

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was Blue Ivy’s Illuminati sacrifice

I was just about to write Ayatollah Ali Khamenei a note, Robin