Ref @ Le Brat Lestat Summer 🔞

I went to NOLA and toured 1132 Royal Street 😭 the property is gorgeous and was an absolute treat to see in person!!!

I’m so so so glad I managed to go!!

🩸 BLOOD ITA BAG INTEREST CHECK🩸 Hello! My name is Ref and I am the artist behind Refnlings. This form is an interest check for my latest idea- a Blood Bag inspired ita! The idea stems from a thought I had recently about my favourite...

Please register interest and give me your thoughts here!
forms.gle/Lx5xC3gB7nH2...

#itabag #itabaginterestcheck #menheraitabag #interestcheck #bloodbag #medicalcore #bloodcore

🩸 INTEREST CHECK 🩸
I've designed an ita bag! I'm currently chatting to a manufacturer about creating this design, but I'd love to get an idea of how many people would be interested in this!
If there is enough interest, I will create a kickstarter to bring this to life!

Interest Check Form Below! ✨🔽

Been able to find this jacket since, especially online. I’m not looking to part ways with it as it has sentimental value regardless, I’d just love to know where it’s from! Thank you!
#patd #panic!atthedisco

Calling out to the bandom here, hopefully someone will have an answer. I have had this hoodie for YEARS (since about 2008/2009). It was gifted to me and was apparently from Panic! at the Disco’s merch at Reading and Leeds festival from 2006? I’d love to know authenticity around this as I’ve never…

Hello!
I've opened up commissions to raise funds to try and visit New Orleans for a couple of days whilst I'm in the US in a few months time!
I'm offering £15 Experimental SKEB Headshots, and taking requests through vGen and Ko-fi!
Some examples below!
vgen.co/refnlings
ko-fi.com/refnlings/co...

The only reason I appear high functioning or borderline is because of the amount of internal processing I do every waking second to appear normal. This was bullied into me from a VERY young age. It’s a slap in a face to imply that I don’t struggle just because I don’t outwardly show it.

Of being functional. Not MY functional, but the functional that is expected of me from society. After all that’s happened in the past year, I’m trying my hardest to find myself and be kind to them. I’m so so glad that this cog is turning, but there’s still so much to unpick and work on.

My SI is the worst it has been in years, and the last time I had a complete meltdown was when I was transitioning between secondary school and a-levels. Through therapy I’m beginning to realise these patterns in life aren’t just random events. I have clear signs and I ignore them for the sake

Changing my work and reducing the amount of days I can work. I do not recover over weekends, and find that I am just as tired as I was on Friday on Monday, even if I simply just exist on a Saturday and Sunday, doing nothing else.

The truth is, I am barely coping. I have a whole pot of other mental diagnoses now to mix in with this “high functioning autism”. I had a complete meltdown in March which caused me to be off work for a month. I struggle to get through most weeks to the point that I am having to consider…

I had a GP appointment on Friday last week and finally I’m being referred for an autism diagnosis. My doctor said that she believes I do have it, although very high functioning/borderline.
I’m beginning to hate the term high functioning, because to me it implies that I can cope and carry on.

Listen to me, and listen very carefully, My Infant Death...
It was never you.

I don't think there's truly the words in my vocab to explain how I feel, but it's akin to this ache that I can't relieve. I want to share my thoughts and feelings with people who feel equally as I do, but I am scared. Getting to know new people is a lot, and I just don't have the capacity right now.

There's also an element of this stupid weird imposter syndrome when I meet people who are into what I'm into. I had it a lot during my FFXIV days, my Sonic days, and I have it again now in my current obsession. "What if this is all fake? I haven't done XYZ, therefore I can't be a real fan, right?"

I struggle to make new friends through media, because the moment I fall out of it, I feel embarrassment and shame and often an inability to reconnect. I've done it with KH, Bandom, Sonic, FFXIV and so many more. I tell myself it's not worth it. I'm tired. It's so exhausting.

I wish I could enjoy media normally. I wish I could be like "Oh this is neat", and not fall into this pit of being unable to do anything but live and breathe what I love. I isolate too much when I get like this, bc I don't want to think or hear or talk about anything else. Yet,

And I know that there's going to be a point where this ends. I move onto the next thing. I can't anchor, I can't stand still. I mourn the loss of love for the things I cared so deeply about whilst falling into the grasp of another franchise. I joke about the way I am, but in honesty it makes me sad.

one small off-handed comment about being uninterested that shuts me down completely. I don't know how to outlet, I'm trying my best not to infodump on people. It's always been a vicious cycle growing up and feeling like this with particular IPs, but for some reason I feel ill prepared for this one.

I'm finding myself just crying because I don't know what to do. I feel so deeply for this show, for the characters (Dare I say the K word here), and I am struggling because I feel that I can't share this. There's no one immediately in my circle that feels this way like I do, and all it takes is for

has been, I'm definitely using my interests as a sort of coping mechanism. I feel this very deeply with Interview, and I am really struggling to contain myself. I'm not good with managing or handling my emotions, and I sit here and feel them so intensely through this fixation. As cringe as it sounds

wasn't comfortable posting this on main. still trying to get their likeness down to the point i feel they are recognisable

YouTube video by Panic! At The Disco Panic! At The Disco - The End Of All Things (Official Audio)

youtu.be/YSWIfX_MNCY?...

whether near or far
i am always yours

in these coming years
many things will change
but the way i feel
will remain the same

draws connections between these things and that. It is horrific to have these things taken from me, even without intention. It so fucked, and I'm so upset that this is the pattern my brain has decided on.

apols, but i'm so tired and sad that the things that brought me joy and were favourites of mine have been tarnished entirely and now i'm sat here on my office floor crying because for the sake of my mental health i have to get rid of them until i hopefully heal and my brain no longer

I am not interested in shopping for my other fandoms right now simply because there’s way too much stuff out there for them I’m overwhelmed for those, but severely underwhelmed when it comes to IWTV. I’m practically begging at this point 😭🙏

I have no idea if this will work- but calling all artists vending at dokomi this year. If you have interview with the vampire merch (mainly based off the tv series or the books), please comment below! I won’t be doing much walking of the halls so am setting up my ‘must visit’ booths!

(Pic 4 attn)

URGENT: if anyone has seen or found a huge (A2) sized folder in the parking lot of MCM London, Excel Arena please let me know. We unfortunately left all our A3 prints behind as we were going back home and this is financially devastating.

Please also RT so this can reach further.

*ping-ponging, not ping-pinging. Too busy thinking about them to spellcheck before sending 😔