E 🤟

i wonder if i was a pirate who got scurvy in my past life and that’s why im obsessed with oranges

season 2, episodes 15-18 of spongebob are a classic 100/10

only inhale smoke when it’s from a blunt

it’s not a hotbox, it’s a hothouse

season 3 of wednesday: wednesday pulls up with a glock

leave the windows up on the interstate so you don’t fly out the window

you and me baby aint nothing but mammals

i’m getting sick which means coughing hurts my throat but i can’t stop coughing because that would mean stop smoking 🍃

we’re all getting bowjobs?!
shots!
and we’re getting shot 😨?!

advice that i got from my high school tennis coach was to befriend at least one tattoo artist (✔️), one bartender, one car mechanic (does my grandfather count?) and a taxi driver.

is he yo gabba gabba ? do you mean yabba dabba doo

oh god man you got me thinking about ducks, i need me some dyuck dyonuts

don’t panic until you’ve checked the batteries

*steam cleaning a waffle maker* i feel like a dentist

young ginger with local wild garlic

she said #casketgoals

harry styles is 30 today.

i’m mixed boy awesome

sugar honey iced tea? yea i know that from bright horizons #bringmethehorizon

i need lotion from the laundry room

i can’t because we literally need to do laundry

he just narcan’d him in wizard

“not my monkeys not my circus” okay but what happens when they become my monkeys my circus

i wish i had the superpower to know when chicken is fully cooked

celebrate new year’s eve with day drinking

that episode from king of the hill where they’re being questioned due to a fire and Boomhauer’s flashback has his voice normal but everyone else’s is barely coherent

we support randy, give him back the mic

there’s a desire path in my hummus

well when i’m a girl werewolves come

i never expected for rivers and roads to happen to me so fast