Andy Goat

I have transcended from
"when you're a hammer everything looks like a nail"
To
"when you're a software developer you realize that software sucks and most problems would be better solved without it"

Who is the first amendment 🫣😏😈👄🍆🍆💦

My body is like a cast iron

Surprisingly permiable in some ways
Surprisingly durable in others

I apply a seasoning to it every day
And never use soap

In 2019 I hooked up with the ceo of bearbottom clothes and ever since then I've been getting nonstop ads for their products 😭

In @americanair.bsky.social we don't say "click here to see 9 pages of ads"

We say "click here to check in for your flight"

And I think that's beautiful

I'm convinced that when a guy has a big bulge, 90% of the time it's a normal dick with big balls

What the hell do I do with that? I can't shove balls up my ass 😤

For my mental health I think I need to stop following people on Instagram just because they are hot

You can use carrot greens to make chimichurry sauce follow for more cooking tips

I always thought "valley fever" was when you really like the central valley and decide to move there - like how "jungle fever" is when you really like the flora and fauna of Africa and decide to move there

But it turns out "valley fever" is a real ass STI disease that you get sleeping with bakos 😬

Inpatient rehab!
Job training or convention!
Furry convention!
Haj!

Are you or your friends making the switch? What's your generation (x vs millenial vs z vs alpha)? What's your political affiliation? What's your rural/urban status? Is the switch to RedNote specific to any particular demographic or is it broad?

I've been hearing that a lot of Americans are downloading RedNote because of the tiktok ban

Can anyone help me understand the reasoning? RedNote looks more like Pinterest or Instagram than tiktok. Is it about the UI or something else?

Whats the primary demographic making this switch?

Who wants to get pregnant in 2025?

All the 4th wave porn sites are teetering under the holiday masturbation load

I get strep throat after sucking dick like 10% of the time 😔

Doctor says if I get it 10 times in 1 year then I can get my tonsils removed 🫡

That's about 100 dicks 🤔 or 2 dicks per week 🍆🍆🍳

The problem with soccer as a sport is that you're trying to get the ball to go onto one goal but the opposing team is actually trying to get the ball in _the opposite goal_. The two teams are actively disincentivized from working together because the system is fundamentally set up for conflict

They should put garbage disposals in toilets

I think they should put commercial breaks in movies so everyone has a chance to check their phones without missing the movies

Thank you for your service 🫡

I don't mind the simple automation like "bodega cats" and "fuck everything" but I do mind the ones that pretend to be humans

I want to _know_ that it's a bot and if it is a bot then I want to _know_ its intent. And I want a bluesky blocklist that I can add to easily block them all 😇

Have you ever put a cat on the model train sets and let them hunt the trains? I like to imagine massive cats attacking full size trains like a godzilla movie but without the suffering

I bought an air purifier that would not let me use certain settings without first connecting it to their cloud service

I now have a separate wifi network just for appliances like this and after they do their setup I unplug the router's uplink

Has anyone is the US heard of pozidrive screws? It sounds made up

Oops I read the alt text after posting. It's salad

I should have recognized this as Seattle style teriyaki! Definitely one of the things I miss most about Seattle is the tiny teriyaki stores everywhere 🥺

Is that steamed cabbage on the bottom right? Or salad?

Mery Shrekmas

Push-ups are underrated

Pic unrelated

@possum.pizza would this be a good Christmas present for you?

Why? Is it bad to clench your jaw?

Damn mommy are you Putin at Olive Garden? 😏 because you are invading my bread basket