The Packer Ranter

That’s a running back.

You want to know how little any of this matters?

I haven’t even restarted my live TV subscription again yet.

This is the only stat that matters from this game.

Woody Johnson’s Super Bowl tonight. Gonna be tough to beat a team that’s playing for such a good dude.

Drops.

til I learned South St Paul are the Packers

This is like the bizarro version of when Lombardi would invite reporters over for cocktails.

Still on the sideline.

@jasonjwilde.bsky.social Pass on the airtime to respond to Jim the Bears fan’s “analysis”. It’s just bitter hyperbole.

I’m going to be jealous again that so many people are out there shaking their money makers opening weekend.

Turns out giving the country’s absolute biggest losers unchecked power is bad. Huh.

Obviously has to be a night game.

Damn! This is 100% correct. I think those guys are all energy vampires already.

Guillermo moves to sideline reporter.

Who would be your dream crew to call an NFL game?

I’ve been thinking about this, and I think the correct answer is Nandor the Relentless, Lazlo Cravensworth and Nadja of Antipaxos in the booth, and Colin Robinson handling sideline reporting.

They clone Mariano Rivera?

This is a trick question.

You *always* point and laugh at someone who rips their pants regardless of the established power structure among those involved.

This is very common in people with great hair. They assume the ease of having perfect hair will apply to all aspects of their life. When it does not, it causes executive dysfunction.

It took me years of therapy to get past this. Good for Lukas for doing the work.

Signed Corey just Ballintime.

EXCLUSIVE: Ed Policy will announce plans to build a roof on Lambeau Field, his first major action as Packers president.

John Rambo just wanted to be left alone not included in polls done by complete dumbasses.

More like Corey Backintime, amirite?

After 50 years living in Wisconsin, it’s almost more likely that a cheese curd falls in your mouth accidentally than you consciously don’t eat one.

You don’t turn being a zebra off, man.

You never know how much you’ve missed Wayne and Rock until you hear them again.

I’m sitting on my deck streaming Family Night on the Packers mobile app.

We’re not in Kansas anymore.

On Packers Family Night, we ask you to be mindful and remember that not everyone is as privileged as you.