Bogey

I wish I was as funny as some of the people I follow

getting into conspiracy theories so i can achieve my dream of being the first man on the moon

I let the rain melt my worries away. It took some skin chunks as well, but I'm not worried about it.

I’m like if a pop-up ad was a person

Let's not repost each other and say we did

If you’re new, some tips to get you started:

1. Put your dumb thoughts into words and send
2. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. No one is reading it anyway
3. Like and repost others, don’t be one of “them”
4. Make a search link, you lazy fuck
5. Never, and I mean NEVER, use a question mark

Goodbye everybody. I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Please respond

Imagine falling in love with me and then finding out I organize my shopping list to match the layout of the grocery store

How many democrats does it take to lightbulb a change?

More like sees the day and goes back to bed amiright

Things have gone terribly wrong and I have no one to blame but yourself

People come into your life for a reason, and sometimes that reason is very stupid.

my bodies fight or flight response is always flight sometimes with a side of nausea

I like to tell people I’m a comedian so they’ll know my posts aren’t funny

If you're performing standup for ghosts and the audience starts shouting, "Boo! Boooo!" don't panic. You're killing.

A fine line tattoo of a vine with a lily of the valley flower incorporated on WineMummy’s arm.

Obsessed🌿🤍

don't be a hater, stuff your mouth full of taters

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

You know that feeling when your alarm goes off, and all you want to do is pull the door back over your tomb and sleep for a couple hundred years?

Breaking news from Downtown this morning Tom. It would appear the Give-A-Fuck factory has laid off all workers, and shuttered their doors for good.

Self Care* is very important.
*eating 3 snack wraps in my car.

What’s your wildest celebrity encounter?: I once met Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, but it was after the sequel when he was in his punk phase so he just spat on me and said some mean things about my mother.

This Monday feels like a Caturday

In Ghost World they call today Boosday, but that’s just what they call every day.

A screenshot from codename: Iceman showing a crumpled car on fire Top text says Restart? Restore? …at least one more? Bottom text says Your party has died trying to merge onto Storrow Drive… (which is a typically congested major throughway in Boston MA.) then the options Restore Restart Quit

The Bostonian Trail

I should have listened to everyone.
This toe tuck did not make me feel better about myself at all

I get my steps in by going back to get what I forgot and forgetting what I forgot again.

A screenshot of a Ring notification that says: Ring Battery at 30% - Glory Hole needs charging. Because I’m a mature adult and still have my doorbell name set as Glory Hole

Oh no, my glory hole is almost out of juice!

Using AI to deepfake an orgasm

“That’s not what I meant” is almost always the response I’m going for