Lisa Holdsworth

Lock up your sofas.

It’s a busy place. I get it.

William Roache just got back in his taxi and went home.

This made things awkward as I had offered to take several ducks out to Sunday Lunch.

elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames and the word chaos is above him Alt: elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames. It’s CHAOS!!!

Pray for me. I’ve been sucked into doing a Pinterest-inspired craft project again.

It always starts well with the scrolling and the researching and the shopping but then…

“Cleaning up”?

Is that the language you should be using about human beings?

I think I’d get performance anxiety.

If I am ever asked to produce my birth certificate in order to use the loo in an establishment, I promise that I will piss on the floor of said establishment.

If there were trans people who could turn into small boats, this Government would shit itself inside out.

there’s nothing like being present - *really* present - in the moment, taking in your surroundings, the people around you, the sky, the air and the sound of the city and actually NOTICING the world you live in to remind you not to forget your phone charger next time

Cast announcement for Red Ladder and Wrongsemble’s festive theatre double bill - Red Ladder Theatre Company We are delighted to introduce our cast for the Christmas shows we’re taking on tour across the UK later this year with our friends from Wrongsemble. Our brand-new dark comedy, A Proper Merry Christmes...

We know, it's the summer and you don't want to think about C time yet. But...
Our new show, A Proper Merry #Christmess, hits the road with Wrongsemble’s A Town Called Christmas in Nov. And we're beyond excited to announce the brilliant actors performing in both...
www.redladder.co.uk/cast-announc...

In 2005, the Family Research Council named TEEN TITANS the worst show on TV — with 21 minutes of “unacceptable content” in a 22 minute episode.

When I tried to find out why, I discovered that one of their criteria for unacceptable content was “children disobeying adults.”

Seems relevant.

Fuck ‘em.

A photo of Donald trump, a convicted sex offender who has bankrupted multiple companies and defrauded countless people in his spare time when he’s not golfing, stands on the roof of the White House for some reason.

karoline leavitt then relayed to the press pool that according to guinness world records trump is now the tallest boy to ever live in dc

A Twitter DM from June 2022 reads: Hi Mollie, I hope you're well. Just sending a message to say thanks. Early this year you tweeted a Guardian Blind Date, where the guy dragged the girl a little bit. After seeing a couple of people saying some pretty shit things about her on Twitter, I DM'd her to balance it out a bit - just say I thought she came across as really funny and fuck the haters etc (but with no other real intention other than that). Well we hit it off, talked every day for a month (I was working out of the UK at the time) and agreed to meet as soon as I returned. I ended up coming home early and we've been dating ever since. It might sound a bit over the top but l've never felt like this about anyone else before, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. I've honestly had some of the best months of my life with her around, and I want to say thanks

A Twitter DM from tonight reads: Hey Mollie, I hope you don't mind an update on the above. I asked her if she'd marry me, she said yes! She's my world. I'm so incredibly thankful for you tweeting that thing that led me and meet - I'm eternally in your debt. Thanks!

In 2022 I received the wholesome DM in the image on the left on the Other Site, tonight I received the one on the right 🥹🥹🥹🥹

YouTube video by Larry & Paul UK Cracks Down on Cracking One Out - #BrokenNews

🔥 SHOCK: UK Cracks Down On Cracking One Out.

👇🏻 Please watch and share the latest report from #BrokenNews.

youtu.be/DPCHHM1IrOA?...

Midsomer Murders wine on display in Leeds literary exhibition Abbey House Museum is displaying objects and stories that have inspired writers including Lisa Holdsworth.

Come see the Leeds writers exhibition at Abbey House Museum. Bits there from quite a few of us, including Lisa Holdsworth and myself.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

"This is Radio 4, and you're listening to the Moral Maze with me, Michael Buerk. Rabbi Lionel Blue, a quandary for you..."

The Yorkshire TV logo, with the words: WILL NOT EXPLAIN the rules of 3-2-1 (Apologies for not being able to credit the genius who came up with this - I’ve had it hanging around on my phone for ages and didn’t note down who originally made it.)

Happy Yorkshire Day.

The biggest insider trading scam of all time continues.

Ooh, so edgy.

Yes. With Pontefract Cakes and Rhubarb.

Either way works. 😂

youtu.be/tE8d-uGmIWk?...

Happy Yorkshire Day to those who celebrate. I will be marking the day with usual traditions - watching a super cut of Sean Bean saying bastard and going up onto Ilkley Moor without a hat.

Kill it. Kill it with fire.

A dachshund stands in a store, visible through glass doors marked with a "no dachshunds" graphic silhouette sign. The interior shows shopping carts and tiled flooring.

BECOME UNGOVERNABLE

good morning

The #MerkyBooks New Writers’ Prize is back for another year 🎉🙌

Open to all Black, Asian or Minority Ethnic writers, aged 18-35, un-agented and unpublished.

🗓️ Submissions close on 26 August. Apply now: www.penguin.co.uk/about/publis...