The question of if a country could fuck itself harder than the UK did with Brexit has today been answered.

El canal es de Panama!!

remember stuff like this when they tell you that diversity means a lowering of standards

In 6 yrs we will see movies about how being ICE agents made the ICE agents so sad.

Imagine your whole family dies in a plane crash and on the news they're talking about how the president posted "NOT GOOD!!!!" about it

Told my 4 year old I had to go to jail to visit some clients and she said she was going to tell all her friends her dad’s going to jail. So, yeah how’s your night going?

Le voy a poner el CD de BB en repeat a la heredera. Ella es boricua no tejana.

Está cabrón que el único shot que me he dado hoy es de café.

It’s 80° in December. Why am I saving for retirement?

Wow, gold, frankincense, AND myrrh. This is so great. My wife’s boyfriend’s baby is going to love it. Thank you so much.

Do I really have to work today?

image of a two-story Godzilla shaped Christmas tree covered in white lights in a Japanese mall

remember the reason for the season

Mine is just alcohol related.

Is it too early to start drinking?

if you're working today* you're allowed to have two beers on the clock

*this is the exception for americans and the guaranteed by law minimum for europeans

Jake Paul looks like a guy who lives in Puerto Rico to dodge taxes while scamming people with crypto and fake lunchables

mike tyson is too old. he should have stepped aside months ago and let kamala take over

mental health break? you bet it did

alex jones is livestreaming with steve bannon on infowars as the onion takeover is in progress. jones is yelling "they're in the control room! they're in the control room!"

I think the best part may be that you can’t tell if The Onion has taken over yet.

Just straight up cheese

elmo is standing in front of a pizza with pepperoni Alt: elmo is standing in front of a pizza with pepperoni

Bluesky Pizza Giveaway!

Get a chance to win a $25 Gift Card to your favorite pizza place!

Rules: Repost + Like this Post & comment your favorite pizza topping!

Ends at 12pm PT tomorrow (11/14)!

Last day as a father of a two year old child 🥲

Happy Fathers Day everyone

It’s 5am and it’s already 80°. Is this the hell everyone’s talking about?

Mike Pence running for president raises the possibility of the funniest possible thing that could happen in a Republican primary debate: Donald Trump shooting Mike Pence with a gun

I thought it'd be funny, your honor