crisp

[realtor trying to be politically correct] and if you step through here you’ll notice the en-suite bathroom has their and theirs sinks!

cool thing about pb&j is that some of the worst men in my life have given me pb&j preparation tips so every time i make one i go through a short series of flashbacks

me: damn why does my throat hurt

my water bottle hard at work brewing up its ninth super-bacteria and 15th mold strain: that sucks dude. is it allergy season or something?

JAY!!!

think i just wanted geese to be vaguely communist. from each goose according to her gander

constantly reflecting on the fact that i, for years, misremembered gander as a group word for geese and though “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” meant what’s good for one is good for all

i can write an excellent letter of recommendation

chapter 1 in a children’s book about Amelia Earhart, titled “A Tomboy by Nature”

flipped to this page while checking in a book the other day btw. the theory gains ground

love to go out and have a drink and then come home to my tiny dumbass dog. like wow how blessed am i that a small creature lives in my house and sometimes likes to hang out with me

my favorite hobby is spending hours attempting to triangulate a doctor in my area who takes my insurance while also meeting various other criteria, before finally giving up and scheduling a random appointment with the energy of someone making an online impulse purchase

Working on a feature about DIY hormones and seeking fellow trans people to talk to, whether you're on a past or present DIY regimen, supplementing your regimen, or offering support to people seeking info. Anon/pseudonymous okay, my email is E2EE (sesmith at realsesmith dot com). Signal sesmith.74.

[being told i have some rare pathogen typically found in dogs]

so you’re saying i’ve got that dog in me haha hell yeah brother up top

search result showing an MSN article titled “Was Amelia Earhart trans?”

lmao

tweet from Pop Base with a photo of a smirking, butch-looking Amelia Earhart: “88 years ago today, Amelia Earhart disappeared.” quote tweet from at zoraslovechild: “It’s hard to wrap my brain around the fact that they never found her”

misread this as saying “it’s *not* hard to wrap my brain around” and within the space of a millisecond fully accepted “amelia earhart transitioned” as a plausible theory

since relaying this story to my roommate she will now walk into the kitchen and say “soup for [meal]?” about whatever food i’m currently eating

months ago i walked into a break room one morning to see a coworker (who i’d exchanged maybe 3 words with up to that point) squeezing some mustard into a cup, and for reasons unknown i physically could not stop myself from saying, in a weird voice, “little soup for breakfast?”

was operating under the illusion that i could perhaps “‘white-passing’ mode” my way through this summer for ~safety~ but about three days into true spring i’ve already begun to acquire a tan 👍🏼

of all the fantastical things that happen on lost, the single one that completely beggars belief is people swimming around all the time in jeans

just found out that shiny pokémon are literally just shiny/ different colored and nothing else. after all these years of hearing about people going to great lengths to acquire them…. i need space no one talk to me

i bet being in a (film) montage feels so good. i wish montages were real

scrolling around before bed and suddenly realized the reason i’ve started mad men like five times without ever getting past a few episodes is that i turn it on every single time expecting it to be Doctor Gregory House But For Advertising and then remember that’s only like 5% of the show

yeah lmao it rocked

at some point i became convinced that a person listening through a stethoscope can hear whatever song is stuck in your head, and as i’ve yet to un-convince myself of this i just make sure i listen to a nice song before i head into work with the med students 🙂‍↕️

my latest thing is saying “bug found in rug” instead of “fork found in kitchen” which i’m sure will catch on

page from a book about hypnosis in dentistry with the heading hypnodontics — hypno-anesthesia. “Massage lower jaw lightly on outside of face for a moment or two then proceed, ‘As I massage your lower jaw you will find that your jaw muscles are becoming rigid and more rigid all the time; just like a steel vise. This will be only temporary. Now your jaw is locked like a steel vise, so much so, that you cannot close your mouth or move your jaw. [all caps] You may try but you’ll find that the more you try the more rigid will it become. Stop trying.’”

accidentally unlocked a new, very specific fetish at work yesterday

we can should must and will fund trans sicko art

i need everyone to give louise money so that my dissection may continue

nhttps://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weardjupiter/castration-movie-anthology-ii-the-best-of-both-worlds

i appreciate my color being red 🫡

currently lounging on an air mattress next to a dog lounging on a dog bed and feeling like i’m missing some opportunities by not being a puppy girl

luna as a fellow Conscious Smiler i always love your smile