Settle this for me, lads.
If I woke up and decided to go back to sleep for an extra hour and a half, that's a full sleep, right? Not a snooze?
Trying to argue that my daily target of 'get out of bed without snoozing' has been fulfilled. I didn't put off gettig out of bed, I had surplus time.
Feeling myself today
05.03.2026 08:31 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
Comedy babes
04.03.2026 20:46 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Mop. Chopped.
04.03.2026 19:57 — 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It's not Grindr, Jay, put your clothes back on
04.03.2026 17:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0And as I make it to nearly 3pm before my first meal of the day, for the 5th day in a row, due to appetite suppression, I reflect "Fuck Ozempic and Mounjaro, Lisdexamfetamine is the true weight loss drug"
04.03.2026 14:40 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0But I managed to crouch-jump into a straddle handstand for 1 second, so... Prog? 😂💀
04.03.2026 08:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You should keep your clothes on in protest of the complaint. No? Didn't think so 😂
04.03.2026 08:26 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Fuck false grip, tbh
04.03.2026 08:18 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Oh he knows.
50% of us practice sodomy, maybe more, as I don't know if the straights among us do.
He knows.
Love that you had to put a disclaimer for the benefit/placation of the militant Left and Right
04.03.2026 08:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Calisthenics instructor: "Just make sure it doesn't all shoot into your lower back"
🫦
Scream 7 was fun. Missed the mark for me, and I love the franchise. I place it in the lower end. 1, 2, 4 and 6 smash it by a country mile.
Unfortunately, I'd say we don't need an 8th. But the cash cow will be milked.
That's incredible
03.03.2026 22:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Hey I only do 16s
03.03.2026 20:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Awww no. Sorry man
03.03.2026 20:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0🫦
03.03.2026 20:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Also helps that my friend, the birthday boy, reminded me that it's his day 😅
03.03.2026 20:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0After being charged £10 for popcorn in the cinema, screaming, and nearly bullying the lad into giving me a refund for not having a tariff posted as is their obligation... My Karen moment passed and I am sat waiting for Scream 7 to start, with renewed conviction that I will neber buy cinema snacks
03.03.2026 20:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Fucking bellend spent weeks saying he wanted Lego Eevee, so I bought for his birthday, today. Cunt goes into town and buys it himself.
03.03.2026 10:25 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Shoutout to the homeless man who smiled and shoved his hands down his pants just now, as I walked by. He's a true one. Someone loves me, finally.
03.03.2026 06:38 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Portion sizes in Manchester are dropping dramatically. I blame the hipster renaissance takeover of Northern Quarter of a few years ago 😅
02.03.2026 20:52 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0That place used to be so good, then they doubled prices, took off all deals and themes and catered only to the hun brunch crowd
02.03.2026 18:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0All financial agreements are a scam.
02.03.2026 17:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Yes, Patrick, treat your ancients with more respect.
02.03.2026 15:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Lucky
02.03.2026 15:52 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Drew there pre-dating financial records and interest... And formal education.
02.03.2026 13:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0😂😂😂
02.03.2026 13:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
I hate that I paid off £850 of my student loan 2025-2026, but £243 was added back as interest.
I genuinely only looked to see if I was close to a final payment, I still have £7,500 to go 😭 I fucking graduated in 2009.
I lose my phone more than enough to consider it a magic ability
02.03.2026 10:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0