Nubs!

THE SNACKRIFICE IS ACCEPTED. /With gusto/.

I AM!!!! SCRUNGLY BEAN IN YOUR POCKET, extremely throwable. ✨

For reeeeal. So grateful for the solidarity from buds that are the same and geeet it, lol. Just sort of exhausted waving at each other from afar as we get swept up in the vortex of time. 🤘

I still like all these, really captured my essence.

-|| cephalopod-self doodles that I get the most use out of 🐙

I have a bad habit of getting a message and being like "ah I don't have the proper headspace to give that the nessa' attention it deserves right now, so I'll just come back to that later!" But the moment it's out of sight it's out of mind. Then WHOOPS it's been two weeks and I'm embarrassed.

Time is an enigma for me, always has been, but they never underscore how much worse that gets the older you get. I sneeze and somehow lose a week.

The ideal situation!!! I'd much prefer to donate them if I can. I have this trio of sea turtles I won from crane games over 15 years ago from an arcade in Jersey, and somehow they're in such solid shape!

I can't remember basic useful information, names of things, nifty facts, but I can recall how and where I acquired each and every one of my stuffed buds.

Why can't I get myself to just throw away plushies? Logically I know this is technically just unfeeling fabric. They're old and dusty and I have to make room to keep things tidy. And YET, and /YET?/ I can't just dunk this sweet boy in the trash, we been through such shit. ; ;

local stray that I guess is now our cat (Socks) who INSISTS on bringing home things tHAT SHOULD NOT BE IN HERE

scored BIG with this here emotional support pumpkin 🎃

THANKYOU BUD, all trying to make some actual progress together! ; ;

TL;DR, I'm learning a lot, untangling so much childhood bullshit while I can. It's never too late.

In addition to meds, I'm making an effort with talk therapy. If there's anything I've been made to learn this year, is that just because you escape a bad situation doesn't mean it didn't leave damage. Damage that doesn't magically go away just because you "got older" like I guess I'd always hoped.

I earnestly believe the therapy has been helping. Normally my brain is always pinging off with the next anxious thought to chase, but the lexapro has been smoothing out those "bumps." They don't get to take the wheel as much! That's huge for me!

I need to get back there so bad now that I'm trying to get my hot mess of a life in order. It's a peak site, I'm just being fussy about uploading my backlog, lol. It will be such a DAY.

S a m e, I'm finding a lot of help in the combination of meds and talk therapy. I was so nervous but it's making a world of difference. 🥹

Thank you bud, I do sincerely appreciate it! Working on all my finicky issues, be able to be a better friend, better person who is less like a shuddering snappy chihuahua at most times, lol.

It's obscene and nonsensical my anxiety. I'll suddenly wake up with a sharp jolt in my stomach, shuddered from any attempt at sleep with fear that I am "behind on work" and "need to make a post." The more days I lose to recovery, the more I fret about what needs doing. A vicious cycle.

Still alive, just trying to like, /adapt./
I've started lexapro, though the adjustment is rough.
I know it's helping, but for weeks I'm immensely sweaty and fatigued, just trying to get better.

m a y b e 💖

still night scampering, but friend Berry is there

I AM THE NIGHT! Love being up at night, the dark times are the best times! Doing such a scamper!!!

-|| R U N N I N G!

It is wild how much those little things make such a huge difference. I know for certain that sadly I'm a "out of sight out of mind" person. Needing to be reminded certain things by outside factors because my inside factor (me) is /unhelpful/.

SAME, it's been odd answering the question of "why now" and my answer is basically "I didn't know this was abnormal, I thought I was the problem and just weak." It's scary getting started but I'm desperate to be better. Also thankyou for sharing. ❤️

Octopus person with a head full of chewed up tentacles arrives for their psychiatry appointment while wearing a Disco Elysium shirt featuring Conceptualization.

telling on myself with my mere existence ✨

I often make this joke

I used to make the joke that I don’t worry about the leaks in my roof when it’s not raining. But now it's raining always, in abundance, and no way to contain it.

It's been a year of many realizations for me, good and bad. Realizing stuff that happens to you as a kid doesn't magically go away because you got older. I foolishly believed I'd just get over it all.