Mega

Motorcycles please just chill the fuck out okay.

Just realized Taylor Swift has a new album. I'm going to do my best to appreciate this small window I have before I'm unwillingly subjected to half the songs on it every time I am near a radio or step foot in a target for the rest of my life.

Accidentally got the sleeves on my sweater a little wet so I guess my life might as well be over.

What is going on in this picture from the back of a wireless NES zapper gun I have? Who puts their TV on a dresser to the side of their couch? And why are their two glasses of liquor on the table while this kid plays alone?

I'd like to issue an apology. That should say "whomever".

Just wanna say fuck you to whoever makes the decision for these apps to have their names in lowercase in the icon, and then properly capitalized in the actual name.

I like to think of myself as a Stinky Diver but deep down I know I'm just a Melt Man.

This dude from The Tower level background

I think the new Mortal Kombat movie should end the first act with Shang Tsung performing a babality on Johnny Cage. Then the rest is basically just 3 Men and a Baby but with Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Reptile as the dads.

a truck driver delivering snails breaks down on the side of the road. he needs to make his escargot cargo car go.

Saw a billboard that said "Swallowing angry words is a lot easier then eating them" - God

👨‍🍳💋

You're right. I fucking hate Scott Foster and when Bennedict Mathurin and Miles Turner forget how to play or make shots at the worst time.

I fucking hate basketball

4:40am. Wide awake. Feeling anxious as hell for no specific reason. Why do brains have to do stupid shit like this? Just fall asleep idiot.

I think a rotation would be nice. Your classic "boing." Slide whistle going up. Maybe the sound of a light saber igniting.

If I had a genie lamp I feel like there's a real chance that after world peace and ending hunger I'd end up using the last wish on making it so there was an audible cartoon sound effect every time a man gets an erection.

You're not wrong, but unfortunately I reserve those trips for weekend and I just planned things poorly this time haha

When you smell weed outside and then you're like "dang I want some weed now" but you got no weed 😞

What a pathetic end to an otherwise great series.

Publicly shaming past me for not being kind.

WAIT. Crisis averted. Had to dig out the tapes but I do indeed own Galaxy Quest.

I own 100s of movies and yet for some unthinkable reason I don't own Galaxy Quest which is the best of all movies.

I'm not too proud to admit that sometimes I scroll through my years old letterboxd reviews that I've forgotten and laugh like I'm experiencing them for the first time. Past me really knows how to appeal to current me.

"Man, I love music but I just wish it sounded more like it was being filtered through a tuba shoved up Godzilla's giant loose asshole and hurt everyone's ears around me." - Dude's with giant subwoofers in their cars.

I was chewing gum with my mouth open absent mindedly and my daughter hit me with "why are you chewing like a horse?!" from the backseat. Fucking savage.

The car in front of me passive aggressively paid for my coffee this morning. There really is no better beverage for such a bitter sweet gesture.