Adrianna

i'm gonna be making a new bluesky account soon to post NSFW/SFW nudity eventually or just post my thoughts, I wanna reset on this account I don't like this account

if I'm not around then there's more faces in the world that wont wear a smile, if i'm not around there's less creativity for the world to enjoy, if i'm not around then I wont be able to see the impact my existence made on those around me, I have to persevere for the good of the world and for me !!

i was told that i was a big inspiration to someone and i really thought "me??" and the more i think about it the more and more I realize how much of an impact I've had on peoples lives around me

thats alot of people ....

lowkey i try my best to keep pace with them but every breath I take has to fill my lungs or else I feel out of sync with my body but when I rush the breath it doesn't feel relaxing LOLZ, same with doctors appointments when they check my lungs with their stethoscope

i like watching asmr when i get overwhelmed or when I need to focus on stuff and sometimes they say "take a deep breath with me, inhale... then exhale..." and I try to follow along with their breaths but I inhale much longer than they do and exhale for longer, i just have insane lung capacity

im so tired of it all

work in progress for new years

nvm oomf is pissing me off i want to be violent

guh i think i tuckered myself out and now i just want to cry and rot

i don't deserve a fucking thing, no one cares for me as a person they just want shit out of me, I knew i shouldn't have done this fuckass social media shit it's all fake isn't it

"hey can you please give me better attention when i send stuff because saying "it's cute" to a drawing I spent half of my waking day on feels like getting a bread crumb as a reward even though I give you an entire feast as a compliment" i think i'm asking for too much i think i'm a horrible person

i'm so sick of it am I doing too much or am I doing too little do i need to do more or should i find different people, maybe I have to talk to them but that's such a weird conversation

i put so much care and effort into making people feel good and confident but whenever I try to send stuff I make I barely even get a tenth of the energy I give them whenever they make anything like i'm sorry it's not porn or Adri with her fucking tits out i'm a human fucking being not a porn machine

i hate whenever i put so much care and thiought into a compliment and i make sure to point out stuff I like and details i notice in other peoples stuff but when i share my stuff people are like "that's cute" like i didn't fucking spend 7 hours of my life making this shit maybe i'm the problem fmsrgl

start talking about some random unrelated shit after I just poured my heart out thinking "hey this means alot to me and I wanted to share this" like i'm sorry i'm not interesting for you i guess maybe I should jump off that fucking bridge and freeze to death maybe that'll be interesting for you

walk away and forget me until you want entertainment again I want someone to care and to really understan me or maybe i'm being selfish and i'm asking for too much i want a relationbshio where i can yap and have someone want to know more rather than just a "that's cool" or a heart react then you

"I like listening to you yap" mfers when I actually do yap and I get the most dry responses ever to it i'm so fucking sick of it does anyone like actually fucking care is any connection i have to any one person fucking real or am i just a fucking ornament to you that you look at say "ooh shiny" and

this christmas is fucked up and evil because I got bit by a random dog today :c

good meowing every kitty !!!!! merry christmas !!!!!! sorry I got fucked uo and evil last night I need to stop drinking energy drinks LOLZ, the white monster propaganda got to this tgirl x3

wh yios it that when i get sick my mentakl health issues go away and i suffer physically but as soon as i feel better all of the mental illness and micro traumas pile up when i was sick start affecting me now

i need to stay the FIUCK away from energy drinks i'm genuinetly so anxious and scared and exhausted why do i keep getting enegry drinks and thinking "maybe this time will be different" IT NEVER ISSSSS FUCK MY STUPID RATGIRL LIFE

waow i m havin ga horrbile fucking time what why happened

TIL people have bots running on Bluesky just to participate in raffles and giveaways, how big of a loser do you have to be to do that, now that's another reason why I don't want to do them

why can't technology work the way it's supposed to than force me to do stuff I would rather not do, i HATE making calls so bad but UGHHHHHH i need this problem solved NYOWWW >:c fmsrgl

a picture of a cat with the words " you need therapy " on it ALT: a picture of a cat with the words " you need therapy " on it

i feel bad for referring to the people who genuinely like my stuff as like, art beggars, it's a weird thing I do of I always feel like people want stuff out of me but care absolutely little for who I am, or maybe that my followers are silently waiting for me to slip up to tear me to shreds IDK

Adrianna try not to talk to herself challenge IMPOSSIBLE I like how bluesky is so full of activity and yet so devoid, I would prefer if no one interacted with my posts where I ramble to myself bc that's just me taking some me time to talk about stuff, most of the time it's all emotional, not logical

also the way the rules are set up of "like this post and put this on your story" idk it all gives me bad vibes like this isn't for passion or gratitude this just seems like a quick way to boost numbers and it all feels fake idk if that makes sense

I don't want to do a raffle or a giveaway and I know I'm not required to but somehow I feel like I have eyes on me waiting for me to do a giveaway so they can try to get free art, I never liked giveaways bc they feel so engagement-baity and that's the LAST thing I wanna do

sometimes I see the number go up and the thought gets louder of "disappear" because I'm getting pretty freaked out over this but I can't just disappear off the face of the internet, funny how I hate when people do that but I want to do that myself, what a hypocrite I am :c