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Barbie Koelker

@idigress.net.bsky.social

Tech Marketer for Hire. Nerd. Caffeinated Cat Lady. DTLA. ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿฉต

594 Followers  |  409 Following  |  445 Posts  |  Joined: 03.08.2023  |  1.7757

Latest posts by idigress.net on Bluesky

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๐Ÿค ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿพ

09.11.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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๐Ÿค ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿพ

09.11.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Go play with Munchkin now where your bodies wonโ€™t hurt anymore. I love you so so much.
๐Ÿค ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿพ

09.11.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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You fought so hard for us this year and beat all the odds stacked against you, but the fight was just too much. Thank you for all the bonus days, all the cuddles, for all the times you sassed me around and huffed if I offered the wrong treat.

09.11.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Her Meowjesty, Princess Penny, crossed over the rainbow bridge yesterday. Penny, you are so loved. ๐Ÿค ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿพ

Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.๏ฟผ

09.11.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Fahrenheit is for humans.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.

18.08.2025 18:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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150 days of Penny being such a brave and strong fighter. Thank you for every bonus day you give me, little lady. ๐Ÿฅน You are so patient and trusting through the supplements, insulin, and trips to the vetโ€™s office. I love you so so much. ๐Ÿฉท๐Ÿพ

16.08.2025 23:00 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I just tried to label a column as โ€œ2024 Q5โ€. It should be 2026 Q1. Iโ€™m losing years and gaining quarters over here. ๐Ÿ˜…

11.08.2025 08:37 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Loituma "Ievan polkka"
YouTube video by kantelar Loituma "Ievan polkka"

When an ad licenses a song you havenโ€™t heard in forever, and now youโ€™ve gone down a rabbit hole. ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ

youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...

05.08.2025 06:51 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To that end, Iโ€™ve always loved marketing tech that empowers other creators. Tomorrow, Iโ€™ll dive into a new project to help a tech company that is on a mission to empower musicians. ๐ŸŽถ Squee! ๐Ÿฅณ

03.08.2025 20:39 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Marketing is a beautiful, albeit chaotic blend of art & science. We are creators & analysts, seeking to resonate with our audiences to amplify growth.

03.08.2025 20:39 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ahh, yes. Having to wrap my ankles and pop Tylenol arthritis as a teen because we had to run a mile in under 8 minutes in cool weather if we wanted full pointsโ€ฆ

01.08.2025 21:43 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

19 weeks ago, Penny landed in the hospital. Tonight, she's purring away and grooming happily. I love you Penny, and I'm so so proud of how strong you are. ๐Ÿฅน

#SeniorCats #CatMom #Cats

01.08.2025 08:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

There's an elaborate google spreadsheet involved with multiple tabs. Each month, I start a new tab and get emotional. She made it another month!

#CatMom

01.08.2025 08:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Ever since Penny came home from the hospital, I've been tracking her food intake down to the gram, taking note what percentage of her calories have come from kibble, wet food, and treats.

#SeniorCats

01.08.2025 08:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To the people who drive with their music so loud that it can be clearly and loudly heard from 200 feet away and through thick glass โ€ฆ whatโ€™s your favorite brand of hearing aids?

Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?

27.07.2025 09:44 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Say what you will about #adtech. The most egregious false advertising I routinely come across is our cat Luffy laying belly up in the hallway. Itโ€™s a lie. Itโ€™s always a lie.

27.07.2025 07:59 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Astronomerโ€™s โ€˜Temporary Spokespersonโ€™ After CEO, HR Chief Resign Following Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal Gwyneth Paltrow joins in on the Astronomer Coldplay kissing scandal as the company's 'temporary spokesperson.'

Absolutely brilliant. ๐Ÿ˜‚

26.07.2025 05:08 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Thank you to all the amazing vet staff who helped save her. Thank you to everyone who has wished her well. Iโ€™m so thankful for every bonus day we have with her. ๐Ÿ™

21.07.2025 06:13 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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4 months ago today, Penny landed in the hospital. She fought her way through DKA, a blood transfusion, & so much more.

17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen โ€” and a massive tumor on it โ€” and get a feeding tube.

Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.

21.07.2025 06:13 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

โ€œWe have a pet friendly office!โ€
โ€œIs it cat friendly?โ€
โ€œโ€ฆโ€
โ€œโ€ฆโ€
โ€œIโ€™ll find out!โ€
โ€œOkay, thanks!โ€
โ€œโ€ฆ thanks for applying to โ€ฆโ€

๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜น

14.07.2025 18:47 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

When itโ€™s one of those days, so your spouse sends you a video of the pastry options at the grocery store. ๐Ÿฅน

10.07.2025 04:08 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
The Middle Stillman ยท The Middle ยท Song ยท 2023

I had no idea this version existed, nor how much I needed to hear it. ๐Ÿ˜ญ open.spotify.com/track/7oyoi2...

08.07.2025 04:42 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Itโ€™s so strange. I was born in 1985, and yet here I am, living in 1984. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜”

07.07.2025 21:00 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Just finished submitting all the scores and notes for the award category I was judging for the US Travel ESTOS Awards.

Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!

07.07.2025 05:23 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

BRB gonna add the ability to successfully negotiate with a spoiled senior cat โ€” who canโ€™t hear, has high expectations, and imposes ever-shifting priorities & preferences โ€” to my resume. ๐Ÿ˜…

PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)

07.07.2025 03:24 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

One year ago right now, EMTs were plucking me off the pavement after I crashed an electric scooter and was pretty banged up. A couple hospitals, a bunch of stitches, a metal plate & 10 screws, and lots of patience later, Iโ€™ve since walked nearly 600 miles. Thanks, science! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ

04.07.2025 21:53 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Cat treat: next to water dish
Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine
Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her
Penny: finally, I can eat!

04.07.2025 17:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Interviewed for a dream job today. Pennyโ€™s glucose crashed during the call.

Smearing syrup on a catโ€™s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?

03.07.2025 22:20 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

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