Tom Dare

Happy Lloyd Williams Day, one and all.

RIP, Ozzy. You fucking ruled. Thank you for the amazing music.

Gutted.

Oh good! I reckon it's ace. The showstopper (Wait For Me) has a proper S-tier chorus. And Andre de Shields as Hermes in that recording properly owns the role in the same way Joel Grey will forever be the MC in Cabaret. Only less camp and creepily sexy, more wise street poet.

I may be a "fan of musical theatre", but I'm not really a fan of musical theatre. That one, however, rules. Big variety of styles, but still has a showstopper.

Plus there's a very clear nod to Planet Caravan on one of the two best songs in the show (Why We Build The Wall), which gets bonus points.

Wedding Song Reeve Carney, Eva Noblezada, Afra Hines, Timothy Hughes, John Krause, Kimberly Marable, Ahmad Simmons, Hadestown Original Broadway Company, Anaïs Mitchell · Hadestown (Original Broadway Cast Recording...

How about this, from the best pro-green, pro-workers musical based on Greek mythology ever written?

open.spotify.com/track/1yy0Xg...

a cartoon of charlie brown standing on a sidewalk and saying `` good grief '' . Alt: a cartoon of charlie brown standing on a sidewalk and saying `` good grief '' .

On the plus side, that's the end of Ben Youngs and Dan Cole stinking up rugby games.

On the down side, they've got far more time to stink up rugby broadcasts and podcasts.

Ben Youngs.
Thinking.

Mutually exclusive, surely?

The reason he's only filmed above the waist is to hide the raging erection he gets every time he sees himself on the big screen.

Just popped in to say that Karl Dickson is an appalling referee who ruins games and endangers players.

Twinky Alfred Deller in bondage pants winning is great.

Terrific performance, weird as fuck staging, ludicrous nonsense of a song.

Not my personal favourite, but I am fine with that as a winner.

Europe is literally more pissed about Brexit than an actual genocide.

Null points from the public of Europe for the second year running.

Makes you proud to be British.

Go home, Italy, you're drunk.

Kinda apt that our basket case of a country gets our first 12-pointer from a talking mouse.

Holy shit, the UK got some points.

Do they need hearing tests in Luxembourg and San Marino?

Wonderful, ain't it?

I wouldn't want it any other way.

Have I accidentally taken hallucinogenics, or is this a dance off between two troupes dressed as the blocks they put in urinals to reduce the smell?

Nothing says "big gay party" like a very angry man in a beanie screaming "LIE UPON LIE MANKIND SHALL DIE" where music heavy enough to flatten an alp.

I would pay unreal amounts of money to hear Tom G Warrior growl "SATAN! SAVIOUR! FATHER!" over his crushing, lurching riffs in the Eurovision live show.

UNREAL money.

Favourite: Finland
Second: Sweden
Third: Armenia

Prediction to win: Netherlands

Like Graham, my big gay heart has a dear wish about Celine Dion and this show.

Only mine is that she stays the fuck away.

I'm fine with this. As long they're not in ballads. Cos that can do one.

It's not as serious as that.

San Marino going with a cross between Tim Westwood and Eyes Wide Shut is... A Lot.

The French entry being earnest garbage.

Drink.

A plan with no drawbacks.

Sweden were just a drunken conversation with a Finn, or a Swede from further North than the big cities, but with a tune.

But maybe I spent too long interviewing metal bands for a living...

Waterloo.

Finish that drink.

First?! You mean you didn't have that for Iceland or Finland?

You are clearly not easily shocked...

Verka Serduchka did it better, mind.