Joe Berkowitz

AirDmB

All my children will be educated by the Joe Rogan podcast and weightlifting forums and anyone who opposes it will be left behind in the sands of time

*Walter Cronkite touches his earpiece* This just in, the president has issued a statement claiming Dyan Cannon's ad for Jordache Jeans is "going gangbusters"

Wild how they hate celebrities until one whose career didn't peak in 1989 is outed as a Republican. Also, I refuse to believe Trump used the phrase "On the other side of the ledger,"

He styles himself as casting a plague on both American political houses, bemoaning “the ill-conceived identity politics of the left” and “the spiteful populism of the right.” In fact, though, he fixates on mere blemishes dotting the house to his left and too often neglects the unmistakable stench of decay emanating from the house to his right.

Heres's the part that made me want to do a standing ovation.

logging onto Bluesky

David Byrne came to my band’s show at a gay bar in Bed-Stuy and sang This Must Be The Place with us and I still haven’t processed it

Caption reads Loan Wolf and it’s a drawing of a humanoid wolf in a suit assisting a woman with a loan, at a desk messy with papers and a laptop.

This week’s sketch.

Watching Eraserhead before having a child: my god what a harrowing vision of the fears of parenting realized

Watching Eraserhead after having a child: Henry just pick the fucking baby up. Pick it up and walk it around. Jesus christ.

Simpsons gag where some kids are leaving Bart behind as they say they're going to take in an R-rated movie. They are chanting "Barton Fink! Barton Fink!"

Blankies waking up this morning.

NEW: Incredible scenes in Sydney, Australia today as tens of thousands march for Gaza, demanding an end to the genocide.

#MarchForHumanity

(🎥 Ema Franklin)

Squirt past

ANALYSIS Lashing Out Over Russia and Jobs Data, Trump Displays His Volatile Side President Trump had been on a winning streak. But when faced with facts and foes that wouldn't bend to his will, he responded with disproportionate intensity. 5 MIN READ

Well, it finally happened: Trump displayed his volatile side.

“Ooh, look at me: I’m an ESSENTIAL oil.” Calm down, your majesty.

*slaps the internet out of your hands*

"It's poisoned!"

It's the only reboot I've seen where the expansion of the lore, instead of feeling forced, actually enhances and unifies the lore for the rest of the series.

People are bringing their own food to Bay Area restaurants. Is ‘purse tuna’ ever OK? Bay Area chefs say they see people sneaking bites of homemade salads, spring rolls and even entire pizzas while dining at their restaurants.

The phrase “purse tuna” will now haunt my dreams.

Also, people who bring their own food to restaurants are absolutely feral.

Well, everything. The death of art. [Laughs.] A thing that I’ve been struck by in the last year of tech development around art is that what makes us human is making art, even if you’re not a professional artist. This is kind of corny, but I think about cavemen, right? One of the first things we ever did as a species was put our handprints on a wall, and it’s just this drive that has always been there. It’ll always be there. And I think it’s preposterous that these people are suggesting that they develop this technology, and the first thing they want to eliminate is art, so you have more time to…what, email? I don’t know what they think I’m going to do with my fucking day. Most of the population is not artists, but a lot of the population has artistic hobbies, and if you replace that with a computer doing it for you or whatever, it’s just pointless. I think there’s a death drive in these people, almost, and an actual hatred of artists; they are jealous of people with imagination because they don’t have one, and they almost consciously want to eliminate it.

My wife is in Vogue shitting on your AI-generated "art" 💜 www.vogue.com/article/matt...

imagine being the night watchman here

fuck it, i'm buying the American Eagle jeans. these better make me look like Sydney Sweeney

2005 – 28 Wedding Crashers - $209m Hitch - $179m The Longest Yard - $158m Meet the Fockers - $146m Fun with Dick and Jane - $110m 40 Y.O. Virgin - $109 Dukes of Hazzard - $80 Guess Who - $69 Sky High - $64 Bewitched -$63 Kicking and Screaming - $53 Sideways - $50 Herbie: FL $66 Monster in Law - $83 Are We There Yet - $83 Miss Congeniality 2 - $48 Just Like Heaven - $48 Diary of a Mad Black Woman In Good Company - 45 Must Love Dogs - 43 Fever Pitch – 42 Beauty Shop – 36 Bad News Bears – 32 In Her Shoes – 32 Wedding Date - 31 Just Friends - 31

Comedies used to reliably account for 25-35% of the top 100 highest grossing movies each year. Look how many there were in 2005 alone. Even a shitty Dukes of Hazzard movie made $80 million! It's so weird they just gave up even trying.

"In 2005, Batman Begins kicked off Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. It was a massive hit, propelling Christian Bale to stardom and helping usher in the modern era of superhero movies. What now seems lost to history about the film’s success, however, is that it was slightly exceeded by the Vince Vaughn goof-fest Wedding Crashers, which earned $209 million to *Batman Begins’*s $206 million at the domestic box office—on roughly a quarter of the budget."

I wrote about what's at stake for the new Naked Gun, basically just so I could tell more people this one data point. www.fastcompany.com/91378455/nak...

It's fine, you can just fast-forward to all the weird flashbacks in the new one and basically watch the original in full.

Fascinatingly, this is also a level of toddlerdom.

There's a level of rich you can reach where the idea of being told no becomes unfathomable, and it probably shouldn't exist.

one thing they don’t teach you about online is that seeing someone’s thoughts all the time might trick you into thinking they’re important , when they are just a shadow you picked to see in the cave you walked into

Thinking about how, during the final season of lost, my friends would all come over, watch the show, then we’d go out and eat Mexican food and talk about it. Every week we did it. It wasn’t even hard to schedule lol. Doing something like that even once let alone weekly these days feels impossible.

I checked on x and it’s the exact photo negative of the response here.

I would rather die than create an account to continue

The company that needed two years and billions of dollars to create cartoon avatars with legs has announced that it's *this close* to creating a machine god.