Andrew McKay

It’s been a terrible year for certain crops but if the vine in my garden is any indication it’s a great year for grapes! 🍇

I understand they’ve been badgering National Highways about this issue for years

The furthest I’ve been:

N: Oslo 🇳🇴
E: Hong Kong 🇭🇰
S: Rio de Janeiro 🇧🇷
W: San Francisco 🇺🇸

Just to give you an indication of how my watch list is going, I just got round to watching The Night Manager!

To everyone who said it was good nine years ago, you were correct!

One night I dreamt I was about to be hurled into an orange ocean but when I woke up I realised it was just a fantasy

Every time I see a bottle of orange pop I have to resist the urge to shout 500ml because my therapist told me to avoid fantasizing

Fantastic joke

Literally every time the commentators mentioned that name I had that thought!

You’re the first person I’ve seen say anything positive about it. The next best I’ve had was ‘the first two acts were good but the final act is an insult to the audience and to cinema’ 😂

I’ll still go see it so it’s nice to know that positivity is on the table!

Coming soon: Fortnite Uncut

Dear The Weather,

Whilst I’m British and thus apt to complain regardless, I do feel like there are many preferable options between ‘30° with the humidity of a swamp’ and ‘16° with a month of rain every hour’.

Please recalibrate, stat.

No love,
Me

#toohot #toocold #toowet #toodry #weather #uk

Superman is rather enjoyable

I love an airport pint. I really do. But 04:30 is a bit early even for me! Apparently most of the people in BHX disagree given that, as always, the ‘spoons was rammed 😮

I managed to miss all of the Palace fixtures bar the big one last season. And with hindsight I wish I’d missed that too!

A BBC news headline which says “Penguin says it did “all necessary due diligence” with The Salt Path

I’m no expert but I would’ve got a person to do it.

A film that ‘everyone’ has seen that somehow passed you by

Tune in again next year for another singular tennis vaguepost

I may be speaking too soon but I don’t think the man from Spain will have much trouble beating the man from everywhere

Far too long

😊
Though I’d change sometimes to often!

I see no need for either the consultation or the ensuing redesign. The Shakespeare £20 was in circulation for around 22 years from 1970. Elgar £20 for 11 years from 1999. Current Turner £20 has been ~5 years (or~1 year if you count the monarch change). If it ain’t broke…

“I don’t like what the British army is doing in <place>”
“WHY DO YOU HATE ALL BRITISH PEOPLE? YOU SHOULD BE TRIED FOR TREASON”

Croiss-ain’t

So what you’re saying is, you’re looking fly?

I feel like, contrary to our reputation, we deal quite well with heat. Rather than make everything cold we just acclimate. In a couple of days, once this heatwave is done, it’ll be 23° but feel slightly chilly!

Screenshot of an article with the title ‘Was Tupac Bisexual?’ with a picture of the deceased rapper below

Screenshot of a paragraph from the article saying ‘LaBruce quotes Tupac discussing his attraction to men openly. In a 1993 interview, Shakur said: “I wouldn’t call myself a bisexual but some men are sexy. I’ve experimented with men sexually, but I’m not gay. I’m still gangsta and still a real MC. What does it matter?” with the first sentence of the quote highlighted.

So that’s a no then

Clickbait headline reading “Key reason Carlos Alcaraz won epic French Open final against Jannik Sinner is revealed”

I’m not a tennis expert but I’m going to guess it had something to do with the number of points won? 🤷

#clickbait #nonsense #bringbackjournalism #tennis

Yeah, I’ve noticed that’s something else that’s ‘wrong’* when I’ve visited in the past!

I’d probably have noticed the petrol pumps but I only ever really visit NJ (family reasons) where it’s illegal to pump your own!

(*different)

Two things that are wild to me:

1) in the UK, Unleaded’s colour is green and Diesel’s colour is black - this would very confuse me
2) your petroleum distillates are wildly cheap - here, plain old Unleaded is around $6.70 (£4.92) per US Gallon

Good to see David Beckham finally recognised for his work on desperately seeking a knighthood