Cru

let us not speak about how powerful a community could be if it were not for landlords and airbnb owners

you’re not a savvy entrepreneur, you’re a dipshit who takes away from people owning homes in a community, hope this helps, enjoy the gulag

cru for president, we have a guillotine for landlords.

I don’t check my emails. Let fame find me at my door.

Sorry I invited you over for a romantic dinner then fed you Beef-A-Roni and unfrosted Pop Tarts.

okay I’m gonna get canceled for being the only person who likes unfrosted pop tarts

[Me at my second rodeo] listen here, you ignorant piece of shit

Much like a succulent, I too thrive on neglect.

boy, are you a seagull because i want to fight you in a parking lot for the last hot dog

I STILL highly contend most of these people are on the registry and can’t be near schools

YOU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF you were turned down for every other form of service bc you’re a fucking nonce

the first rule of ICE agent club is your dad never said he was proud of you

YOU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF your wife has absolutely pegged you on your wedding night (I’m not shaming, it’s just clear that they love anal pleasures and are pretending they don’t)

YOU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF

you believe strongly in America but don’t abide by constitutional rights because you think you’re special even tho everyone here except for natives are immigrants lmao fuckin dipshit

YOU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF you bought your uniform on Amazon and still haven’t gotten paid lmao fuckaas bitch

YOUUUUUU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF

you had a d average in school and didn’t pass the presidential fitness exam and made a hit list and got kicked out of school

YOU MIGHT BE AN ICE AGENT IF

your pants are two sizes too small and you’ve never made a woman cum

in this essay I’m going to be talking about the funniest way to unlife the president and dick shame ICE

HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YEAH

nobody wants to talk about asparawe

mass “events”! at the rnc.

hidden valley skinwalker ranch

My brain still treats good news like an unattended bag at the airport.

at 10k i’ll steal the moon

yeah servers be going down and shit is sideways, I’m getting intermittently locked out of my account

how about bombing trans people with love and affection instead

blowing up Jupiter right the fuck now

I really need everyone to get less stupid

in a very unfortunate turn of events, i am learning that i read better when i’m standing up.

this is very dumb of me.

health care for cutie when