Cru

make me president already

i wish all transphobes a very gun cleaning accident

you might be a millennial if

your end of life care involves being a missing/never found corpse bc it’s waaaaaay cheaper

my toxic trait is leaving the building in a post chernobyl state after i bust ass

my toxic trait is being able to grab that cops gun waaaaay quicker than him

my toxic trait is believing i could rob a gun store if i were fully nude

no it’s okay we’re being normal

dmt

road rage

love Shane Gillis

Oh great its outdated temporary war measure time tonight

emotionally neglect yourself and everyone around you but not your mother

and joe rogan

i wish all transphobes a very gun cleaning accident

she candy on my cane til i shiv

really robbing the diaper aren't ya

gluglugluglguglugluglgulguglugluglglglgllglg

figured out what they were feeding smelly cat

atomicdumpling.com

parents didn't understand twitter or social media because "who needs to know everything you're doing" no, no, you dumb bitch, i am a genius with a million hilarious thoughts

who are we blowing

Inventer of the "boo"
...
Thank you

start a three days grace coverband

i wish i was there when this came to you

make sausage

a tub of I can't believe it's not buttass

Introducing: BUTTASS! the ass that's a butt

hot dog eating contest

Hot girls call their Minneapolis mayor's office to ask him to sign the Pause Evictions, Save Lives ordinance. I did it while doing my hair for a dinner party tonight.

612-673-2100 and leave a voicemail.

Keep our neighbors safe and home.

a patch foliage seeming, against a grey sky, almost to glow a range of sharp yellowy, to deep dark forest, to the always attention-getting but never ostentatious kelly green. in the foreground a chain of trees shaped by man or kinfolk into a ring of arches, connected as if holding hands

there's some enchanted woods between my place and the liquor store

make a derogatory joke about a gay person then say it’s okay cause your buddy’s brother is gay and he laughed at it