Michael

I don’t understand how Snoopy is supposed to be a beagle

Sorry I didn’t like your post. I just didn’t like it.

STOMP-CLAP is alive and well in central Florida

When the worst part of “my mom has cancer” is “my mom”

Remember orange sherbet cups? What the fuck was that

The handle for COLD water should be on the LEFT side. I will die on this hill.

gargoyle mode

Not me starting to cry while driving in traffic & listening to Dusty Springfield’s “I Only Want to Be With You”

I didn’t see one

both

gotta cry to keep from laughing

I wanna see a ghost tonight

I have to stop buying throw pillows

If there is live music in a restaurant, I am leaving

what is a ethel cain

I fucking hate bob dylan

drives me absolutely insane when people in movies and tv put their hands all over the walls of a public restroom. don’t touch that

Andy Warhol would’ve loved crypto

imagine believing that shining little red LED lights on your face will make you prettier

many people were rude to me today

Thinking about that time when I was a tween and my mom said I walk like Pee-wee Herman (pejorative)

how young is too young to check into a nursing home?

Lowercase l or uppercase I: one of you has to change.

scorpios are people, too

swiping through the hot person’s carousel of random phone pics to find the thirst trap they buried at the end of the carousel to seem less narcissistic 🥹

PSA for the girls:

Blow your mind a bit

give me whimsy or give me death

Do you ever go to the bathroom and start to pee and suddenly get the anxious feeling that you might actually be dreaming and your body is back in the bed pissing itself

Literal cartoon villains