your mother

I need to post more

That show Evil on Prime be havin real looking black people on it. 😍

Idgaf what anybody says.
Oppenheimer is a scary movie. It is point blank TERRIFYING!

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

*hatred for Texas intensifies*

Pumpkin spice latte meetings be this lit?

V much in love with my stack.

MIND YOUR BUSINESS IF YOURE NOT HERE TO HELP

5) you left your wife with a perfect stranger at 2am. AT THE VERY LEAST BE ALERT ENOUGH TO ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALL TO LET YOU KNOW SHE'S HOME SAFE.

4) you haven't been in a particular area in X amount of years? THIS ISNT THE TIME TO CHECK TO SEE IF A STRIP CLUB STILL EXISTS AFTER 20 YEARS.

Google maps couldve told you that.

3) Your wife wants to go home, but you want to bar hop with ya buddies? SCHEDULE A STOP AND SEND YOUR WIFE HOME!

AT NO POINT SHOULD I BE USING GOOGLE MAPS TO GET HER HOME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT THE APP.

2) pee BEFORE you get in the car.

You pissing in a mall parking lot at 2am next to my car wasn't on the agenda for the ride.

1) your uber driver doesn't care how long yall been together or married, STOP ARGUING IN THE BACKSEAT!

Things no to do on your Uber ride as you sit in the MFKIN BACKSEAT

A Thread😌

Hurry up.

There's a lot of straight men a bit too knowledgeable of gay p*rn, enough to make all of their content about it...

Babe, its ok.

🚪Come out. We've been waiting for you.

A dog on its birthday is wild lmaooo

🚂 #ElonMuskHateTrain

The skinny on me:

Im half 🏳️‍🌈
Im fully 🇯🇲
Free 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩🇵🇷
Est in 9️⃣2️⃣
Nj 🍕

Probably addicted to nello super calm

....4. They looted at least 4.

Mountains, babe. MOUNTAINS.

Nothing like a pre-paid spa day at a Korean day spa on a Monday 😌

*falls into tiger trap*

a woman in a blue shirt is smiling while standing in a hallway . ALT: a woman in a blue shirt is smiling while standing in a hallway .

Only plus side about the tariffs is that Starbucks is gonna suffer some more

WHERE ARE COFFEE BEANS GROWN

I be wondering why my bully thought it was cute to try to cheat on his gf with me after he went bald and developed liver failure.

The world may never know 🍭🦉

Unpopular opinion or an opinion i dont think anybody thinks about:

I dont like watching skits of people finding a family member choking the chicken, rubbing it out, flicking the bean, etc and it ends in violence.

"DANTE WHAT 💥ARE 💥YOU💥 DO💥ING?!"

Like damn, walk out the room and have a talk later

Facts

I swear to christ I'll bever go back to twitter