Emme 🫧

I'm super single so I made myself a nice dinner. Did an exfoliating shower, bought myself some foot and face masks. I'm having a little drink. And I'm going to watch a movie. That's my plan for tonight 🩷

31 laps around the sun completed

Giving therapy another shot me for calling myself a long cause
So I signed up for 10 sessions over the course of 10 weeks

NYC, you were a lot of fun

a cartoon dog is sitting at a table in front of a fire with the words `` it 's fine '' ALT: a cartoon dog is sitting at a table in front of a fire with the words `` it 's fine ''

So NYC in less then 48h...
How am I feeling about it?

Am I living in a constant anxiety attack that started today ? Yes but we doing good... For now !

It's good-ish anxiety

But I'm doing better. Thanks for all I checked in ❤️

I'm also doing a bit better. It's still hard cuz it woke up deep traumas that I was not ready to relive through.

I also learn a shit that information about gaslighting. And I can officially say that this is what I've had.

For the last couple of days I've had honest discussions about my feelings with people that work.

When you're just about to give up on pretty much everything and you remember that you have paid a 5K run in October. Get your ass to the gym bitch.

Isolation. Could be a good thing in some ways and I can see the benefits sometimes. Right now it's a dark place and I know I should not be doing it but it's hard.

Also, my brain is playing tricks on me and makes me think that all my friendship and relationships are not worth it and that I should be alone. I hate it.

But once again tonight im crying myself to sleep and I hate it 😓

And I'm trying not to bring this plethora of emotions to my friends cuz it's a lot and they don't have to deal with that. So I've been keeping it to myself.

Pushing through is really the only thing I have. And I know ultimately this is going to make me sick. Feels like there's nothing I can do.

It's been a rough couple of days. I don't know who to turn to. I don't even know how to deal with my own mind.

Lately

What's wrong with me

Trying to find some comfort and joy in the little thinga

<---- this gal, is on the verge of loosing it, because what's joy ? Seems to have left my body

Welcome to Emme ls having a manic episode again

OMG it's so cute !

Man I need to do this
I have a week off so I might just go ahead. I receive so much junk. It's fucking crazy

I don't know her either. I'm just powering through. Lol

The Apple TV thing with #F1 means I need a season of Ted Lasso with him as an F1 Team Principal

6months post op today !
71 lbs lighter (so 32.2kg), still the best decision I've made this year