I have a Sheryl Crow song stuck in my head and I wasn’t even at the grocery store.
*pressing my ear to the asphalt*
A Blockbuster once stood here…
I got your March madness right here
I forget that I can say whatever I want here because nobody can read.
Don’t feed the ai, babe
new bluesky onboarding flow is weird ngl
the la croix is coming from inside the refrigerator
My three rabbits are named Philip, Seymour, and Hopman
Date idea: we both read our books together
revoking all reply guy licences
hey siri, put me down
My yard guy is here to aerate my lawn if you know what I mean and I hope you do because I sure don’t
can’t make it, i’ve got big plans to be bedmaxxing later
😎
You know when you plug your phone in all night, and you wake up and it’s not charged at all? That’s the best metaphor I’ve seen for getting older.
your mom's a hormuz
Humble apologies from all Canadians including myself, we let you down, won’t happen again 😢🇨🇦
Letterkenny (2016-2023)
I’ve found a new favorite. Very upset with my Canadian friends for not telling me about this hilarious show.
Do not skip intros!
“But it’s War Pigs,” I explain to my dog. “I promise I’ll get your cookie as soon as Iommi’s done shredding.”
cars should have toilets
Just passed the me of houses
I'm actually hilarious if you don't get to know me
My favorite thing is validating the clearly unchecked fashion choices of small children in front of their exhausted parents. It's 90 degrees outside but you are rockin' those snow boots, Henry
finally i have proof that frances never fucked my mom
People hate when I post anything political or serious but I hate that this world is being destroyed for the profit of the “already” rich, so you see my dilemma
Immersing the kids in metalcore because I have an obligation to keep them cultured
Reminder to all guests of the River Side Casino, we do not have a zip line. Electrical power should be restored in a few hours.
My stomach growled. Cat heard it & meowed. He also wants a snack.
Punching my mental health in the dick.
