betty

If only there was a way to forward an email to someone else and cc: the person whose out of office message you got so that upon their return to the office, the person doesn’t have to try to figure out if you forwarded the email elsewhere

This week was my first time in Boston(!!!) and I got to go on a super cool tour of Fenway Park ⚾️

idk about Mr. Terrific, but I got to see Mr. Wonderful speak yesterday!

[reads again…]

Nope, you didn’t mean a very expensive puzzle.

[makes another shot of espresso]

❤️❤️❤️

It has just come to my attention that a word which was given to me in a spelling bee in 1991 was mispronounced. Is there a superhero who exacts vengeance in these types of scenarios?

"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?

"fork lady is eroding public confidence."

"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."

"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."

that's what you sound like.

I love that Comfrt sells mid sweats and their social media ads seem like they believe that no one’s ever seen sweats before

Hulu/Disney/whatever:

• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move

• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move

• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!

We are done

If a Michigan answer is anything like a Michigan left, it goes too far, does a 180, and then has you turn the other way in order to get where you want to be

Heaven help you if you watch a couple episodes of a series on Prime. Every day, it’s an email that’s all HEY GIRL HEY YOU BETTER WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE IT’S LEGIT ON PRIME VIDEO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DUDE FOR REAL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO

I’m “randomly” selected for enhanced screening 80% of the time at the airport. The being diverted to go through the backscatter thingy and then the extra and INCREDIBLY unnecessary pat down that followed made the whole experience all the more special in KC yesterday 💕

tbh, I kinda love hell pumpkin

Congratulations to the Boston Crusaders!!!!!!

BRAND NEW FROM LULULEMON: IT’S ALL THE SAME STUFF, BUT IT’S IN DIFFERENT COLORS AND IT COSTS $50 MORE

Happy birthday to the 85 LinkedIn connections who have a birthday today. And congratulations to your parents who apparently REALLY enjoyed Halloween

Bar soap is now “solid body wash”? We used to be a proper society

FYI, @lecreuset.bsky.social customer service is the absolute best and their warranty process is simple, fast, and efficient ❤️

Amazon should offer a 20% off code for all the crap you left in your Prime Day cart but couldn’t bring yourself to commit to before midnight last night

It’s #nationalfryday!! People like to debate what’s the best fry — crinkle, shoestring, steak, waffle… but the NUMBER ONE fry (and the one that’s always been my favorite) is @deannafry.tv ❤️

some girl who spent a silly amount of money on matching EVERYTHING from Lululemon

the word “kayaking” comes from a French word meaning “go buy a matching sports bra, shorts, belt bag, and water bottle”

this app needs a Drafts folder :( it’s silly that I have to draft in twitter before I tweet/post/bloop(?) it here because it disappears if I exit bluesky for a second

also, henceforth and forthwith, bluesky posts are now “bloops”

also, it should make the TiVo sound when you hit the bloop button

Uber Comfort lets you select the amount of conversation you want to have with the driver during your ride. sure would be cool if that could be an option at the dentist’s office…

choose one:

a) converse with me while your fingers are in my mouth

b) shush and just do the scrapey scrapes

[commercial]: “Love your life and live better every day! Ask your doctor about Flarponitron.” (with no explanation of what the medication is supposed to treat, the fine print lists 800 side effects including crushing depression, violent diarrhea, and irrepressible urges to punch woodland creatures)

opened twxtter this morning, and…

Following tab:
• PACERS PACERS PACERS
• Pacers
• also Pacers

For you tab:
• Bloviator in Chief did bombs
• Edgelord Musk trying too hard like always
• …asbestos?

love this, and you… and I never realized how soothing your voice is :)

sounds like a lot of people in Indianapolis are eating pasta today?

…because everyone is talking about Carb Day

…which has to do with the Indy 500

…and it was originally “Carburetion Day” but Hoosiers can’t spell — but also there haven’t been carburetors in those cars in a really long time

they ended up calling it “Grok” because “Mansplainer 5000” didn’t do well in focus groups