Alewyfe | 🌸 Kitchen🥧Wytchin' 🐝

I like to tell students "I did not ask you to solve these differential equations because I needed them solved" and sometimes the light goes on.

Have you ever had to rescue a swamped tandem boat? It's not easy, & almost impossible from the water. Paddle yr own boat, but carry a tow line. It's much easier to rescue a partner in a swamped single boat, & you can help each other out when you get tired with a tow. That's a good metaphor, I think?

It's our unofficial 8 year anniversary today, of when he moved in on our third date (not quite as crazy as it sounds, we'd known each other for years). I'd paddle a tandem with him now, but we'd still both have a better time in our own boats, probably. Tandems can be great instant drama though fwiw!

When my partner & I were in our first summer together as a couple, we worked for months at a kayak rental company. We were trained instructors. We never got in a tandem together. We're still together, 8 years later. You're gonna want to paddle together, but in your own boats. That's free advice!

Also, and some of you know this, but you're gonna wanna jot this down otherwise. Tandem kayaks are also called "divorce machines". Or at least that's what we called them at the company where we worked. Do with that what you will.

Dear romance writers & editors: if you are including a kayak scene, the words "paddle" & "oar" aren't interchangeable. They're different things. Please don't use them both? Kayaks have paddles. Not oars. You row w/ oars, paddle w/ paddles (cringing @ the 2nd book in as many months mixed this up) 🚣🌶️📚

WBAL in Baltimore helping viewers understand the difference between watches and warnings

It’s that time of year. Lilies very, very dangerous.

im just really fucking sick of spending my entire adult life lurching from one worldwide economic disaster to another all because people pretend republicans arent dumb as dog shit morons completely detached from reality

Bush II set the bar very high but between this, USAID, the mass deportation atrocities and a conservative projection of the result of the anti-vax movement I think we can pretty definitively say Trump is the worst President now

Lots of folks asking how to join the class. My lawyers' emails and contact-form here. As well as the complaint if you want to take a look.

prf-law.com/current-case...

you ever think about the worlds that were that you will never know?

Made a fresh batch of fluffy buttery burger buns with sesame seeds... for fried chicken sandwiches later in the week and dinner rolls with chicken parm tonight. Recipe testing is delicious work! 🍽️🥖🍔

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"

"Chat, we were based, and chopped"

i bet this shit sounds magical if you're fucking stupid

March 17 Primary Election: How to Register and Vote Key dates, ID requirements, and voting locations for the March 17 primary election. A breakdown of who can vote, how to register, and where to cast a ballot.

Confused about voting? This breakdown covers who can vote, how to register, where to cast a ballot, key dates, ID requirements and more ahead of the March 17 primary election.

✍️ Chelsea Zhao
https://southsideweekly.com/march-17-primary-election-how-to-register-and-vote/

"You are wrecking the environment so that terrible people who make bad decisions can be enriched. You are destroying entire fields of creativity so that unsuspecting people can get bad information and “advice” from inaccurate, dumbly predictive slop machines. You are degrading the human condition."

"You just take that? You just take my identity? And you do that in an environment where making a living from writing is an ever more precarious proposition? And then you make me take time out of my day to tell you that’s wrong?"

I'm trying. I'm really trying.

These are metal and glass cocktail picks that I've had since ca. 2002... they've probably anchored more sandwiches than martini olives or manhattan cherries over the years, though work well for either!

Looks at sky high gas prices and ponders what could have been if we had only invested in safe bike infrastructure, public transit, and massive rebates for e-bikes

Changed my mind, went for a more substantial freegan-ish sando today:
Freebie 🌶️ spicy chicken patty + mozzarella sticks + romaine (havarti + pickles + ranch from our fridge/pantry) on leftover ww bread (from a mutual aid project- I don't mind the heels so we take them home instead of tossing em) 🍽️🍜

Them: How do you like your hot dogs
Me: Drag it through the garden. at midnight...
BUT MAKE IT EVIL
Them: Like this?
Me: YES, GOOD

Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar http://theonion.com/markets-in-turmoil-as-price-of-money-skyrockets-to-90-1819575197/

Is this a crunchwrap supreme? 🫴🦋

(my partner has a near endless supply of organic iceberg from work rn so I'm making rabbit-food roll-ups for snacks. so cronch, so gud. this was yesterday's. today I'm gonna add spinach & giardiniera I think)

Move over wedge salad, it's 🌯 salad time!
🍽️ #goodlunch

"This probably sounds like nightmare fuel to many, but to wealthy VCs and AI and crypto entrepreneurs it’s the next gold rush." is the quote of our time

not only do we librarians welcome preliterate patrons but we might also be willing to extend library privileges to this visitor. all we really ask is that they observe the behavior policy

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

Exacerbated with how short those pants are hemmed! Can the "going wading or showing off my novelty socks?" thing go away, plz? Campaign for 8-hr work days & half to full-breaks.
Put yr slutty little ankles away unless you're wearing short shorts, boys. (Not you, Rubio, or anyone else in this admin)

need to be long on canned goods, ammo, and guitars that are also flamethrowers