That creeping dread

He’s just mad he can’t visit Epstein island any more. Fuckin pedo.

My manager is wearing the same shirt as yesterday. I don’t think he’s been home. Is he spiraling too? Could he actually be (gulp) human?
Nah. No. Of course not.

Stages of my current spiral:
1. Bought a drum set
2. Crying on way to work cause I miss drums
3. Argue with boss (He thinks Yes is better than Rush)
4. (Epic fill here)
5. Take up standup comedy

More people should follow me. This crash out is well underway and will only get spicier.

It’s not that my manager is a bad guy, it’s more like he’s an awful human being who should shit himself to death. That’s all.

I got in trouble

Why am I just now realizing that I “quiet quit” 4 years ago?

One like and I’ll scream “CUM SHOT!” in the office

I fucked up at work and now I’m important. This somehow both sucks AND blows.

I hope when I die I’m shown a slideshow of all the fire ass comments I’ve made across the internet

This fuckers still alive. Manifest harder guys!!

You’ve tried Peacock streaming service. Now get ready for the future of television: PoopCunt

I want to know what billionaire tastes like

Pointing to his imaginary best friend. Do people realize how foolish they look when they do this shit?

Work has taken a backseat. I rarely see 40 hours, take mental health time, and generally coast through most days. I’ll likely be fired at some point but truly truly truly don’t care. My energy is better spent playing outside with my wife and sons. Time is short, friends. All my love to you and yours

Radiation. Strapped to a table for 35 days. It’s not pleasant and I feel like shit, but it works! Cancer is gone and I will live. I’m ecstatic obviously and hug my family tight as ever. But, but those feelings from before dont just evaporate. I am fundamentally changed by the experience. I’m alive.

My memoirs. I’m dying so it’s suddenly very important to get it all down on paper, you see? Work seems trivial and a million miles away. I’m trying to be a better person for whatever time I have left. Blood work comes back. Nothing in the lymphatic system. My odds improve. I’m optimistic. Surgery.

Working nights, 12 hour shifts, OT, Holidays, grinding my balls into the dirt. I missed so much. I’ll always feel that I wasn’t there enough. For my son. For my wife. For myself. Auto pilot. For 10 fucking years. And then the cancer. I was convinced I was cooked. Started making videos. Writing.

I swear I lived a whole other life on that drive home and when I arrived I was a different person. For one I was no longer a smoker. That last unlit cigarette remains my final. More importantly, and perhaps dangerously, I saw through the facade of my “career” and the “success” I had supposedly found

All I could think of was my wife and kids. I didn’t even have a prognosis. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to know, but here I was, CONVINCED I was a dead man. I left work. Wept all the way home trying to think of how to tell my family. Trying to figure out how to spend every waking moment with them.

Three years ago, on a smoke break, I got a call from a nurse at the ENT I was seeing. She inadvertently let slip that I indeed had cancer in my throat. I heard nothing else that she said. I hung up, Looked at the cigarette in my hand, and cried harder and longer than I ever had before.

So sad to think of what we almost had. We were so close to something better. FFFFUUUUCCCCKKK!!! Sorry. Sometimes I still have to do that.

Also, being a shelter/safe space, be it for a human or an animal, is one of the most noble things a person can do. Stay good.

When I was a kid the prospect of alien abduction terrified me. I was afraid of what was out there in space. Afraid that it would take me away. Now, I regularly shout to the sky, “Come and fucking get me!”

Me getting stabbed by it:
“Is that narwhal tusk!? I could tell it was when YOU STABBED ME WITH IT!”

I know someone who loves you….Jesus….Degarza. He’s a landscaper at my work. He just told me.

Nothing else to do then but dance on the ceiling I suppose. Spite joy I call it. World fucking with you? Spit in its face and call it a coward. Ask if that’s the best it can do? One day it will up and kill us, but not today.

Ok! We’re finally getting to Twitter level shit posting and I’m here for it. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m covered in sap and dirt. Thank you. Thank you. 🙏🏻

Hold our loved ones closer than ever and resist through any means available.