Michelle

***left leg, right leg, wiggle wiggle jump jump wiggle wiggle jump jump ***
Me putting on my jeans.

Republicans have the White House.

Republicans have the Senate.

Republicans have the house.

Republicans have SCOTUS.

Republicans are blocking the Epstein files.

But sure, it's the Democrats fault...

Republicans have the White House.

Republicans have the Senate.

Republicans have the house.

Republicans have SCOTUS.

Republicans are blocking the Epstein files.

But sure, it's the Democrats fault...

Don Winslow’s new video is a f***ing masterpiece!

Even American citizens can't get free healthcare, and Republicans think illegal immigrants do?
That Kool-Aid they're drinking must be fucking amazing!

Realtor: "Hi. Would you like a tour?"
Me: (stuffing cookies in my purse) "The sign said there would be sandwiches too."

I distinctly remember all of the Reddit posts of them not just saying that they didn’t want to wear masks because “it doesn’t work and I won’t be muzzled”, but because it was impairing their breathing and they were fainting from it.

What happened to your health conditions now MAGA?

It's like people who get arrested, and their singular crime is resisting arrest.

Personal Trainer: "How’s your nutrition?"
Me: *dipping my burrito into guacamole* "Not going to lie. It’s been worse."

BREAKING NEWS: Trump's Brave Stormtroopers Defend Against Amphibious Assault!

Too bad Stephen Miller's parents did buy him the red shirt because we all know what happens to the red shirts in Star Trek. ☠️

4'10" 🤣😀🤣

Friend: "Wow"
Me: *lording over my many Amazon boxes* "It was a bountiful harvest."

I am woman. Watch me take one bite of cake then suddenly look pregnant with triplets ready to go into labor.

MTG admits that helping the working class is not a Republican priority🙄

Gotta be honest, when I first saw this, I thought it was Erika Kirk.

They only care about “liberal” pedophiles. Republican pedophiles are ordained by God because trafficking children is part of his mysterious plan.

*Me: eating*
My White Skirt: "Let me taste it."

If people ever say you're too short, they're just saying that the worst thing about you is that there isn’t more of you.

Sure, sex is great, but have you found an awesome freshly cleaned restroom when you desperately had to pee?

EVERY.DAMN.DAY. 🙄

French influencer Amine Mojito faces prison sentence for syringe prank videos | The Express Tribune The 27-year-old content creator was fined €1,500 & will serve six months in custody, with the remaining six suspended

tribune.com.pk/story/257090...

Social media influencer Amine Mojito, whose real name is Ilan M., has been sentenced by a Paris court to one year in prison following public outrage over his viral syringe prank videos.

I am SO tired of AI 🤬

I need one of those dog cones, but for keeping me off the internet when I'm supposed to be doing cleaning and laundry.

Trump is so "brave" 🙄

I think the women of America need Stanley Tucci to roll up his sleeves, pour us some wine, and make us some wonderful pasta.

RFK Jr.’s secret sex diary: His hidden document of affairs found by late wife who committed suicide — and his secret code for women he bedded RFK Jr. grappled with what he called his biggest defect — “my lust demons” — while keeping a scorecard of more than two dozen conquests, according to his secret diary.

What an absolute perv!!!
nypost.com/2013/09/08/r...

The man in charge Of US Health Policies