Festive Malloy

Every cat I've had the pleasure of knowing has been an incredibly complex emotional animal, 100% agree. The main difference between them and a dog is the whole "equals, not subordinates" thing. My cat was a roommate and a companion, not something I could boss around without a fight lol

You verses the monkey she told you not to worry about

Ooh, you said before this is Cloven Country? Sounds real good. I live in rural north Essex ie witch country so right in the middle of this vibe, very interested to read

I almost respect FIFA, they never miss an opportunity to hustle the worlds finest paedophile billionaires. Oh, those nasty people at the Nobel won't give you a prize? Well, you'll never guess what sir!

I like how this is the kind of shit the Praetorian Guard ended up doing which made them start thinking things like "why don't I just stab this dude"

I'm glad we're going under, might ask if I can just leave now

I've been listening to Fela Kuti in the office and one of the people from next door just said it sounded good and asked me if I'd heard of this band called the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

All my legs gone

Good, take the rest of the cranks with you and absolutely let the door hit you on the way out

Now be fair, they don't do that now. True, that might be because the main proponents of that went on to write childrens books and become the face of the Bake Off but they learned tough lessons.

Starmer is trying to stop him by taking sugary drinks, it all makes sense now

He's going to get one done by a ChatGPT-controlled surgeon as part of a pioneering NHS efficiency drive and come out looking like Edgar from MiB.

So what you're saying is I shouldn't be trapped in the room with it or sat so close to it that I can feel the warmth of the paper? Interesting

They do the same at Starmers place but he has to stop it before it gets too rowdy towards the end

I'm not trying to get high, I just feel incredibly weird and my face is starting to hurt?

Currently sat in a tiny photocopier room printing off hundreds of copies of a handbook and trying to google if you can get high from printer fumes

YouTube video by PostmodernJukebox Closer - '70s Funk Nine Inch Nails Cover ft. Kenton Chen

Read this and had a trauma flashback to the line "I want to woo you like an animal" for the worst cover I've ever heard

youtu.be/w-fgoDdZBcA?...

Brb, asking the nice lady with the snacks where she found a latex cardigan

Toby, I almost lost a flat and a job offer because the hostile environment is so insanely fucked it can be difficult for people who've lived in England for nearly 40 years to pass the checks. On what planet do you think it's easy already and needs to be made harder.

When you turn up to the munch after a healthy showing in the local council elections

Yeah, he probably should should have someone just go back and recheck this stuff to be safe but he's allowed to make a mistake and all it needed was a quick correction. Bit weird to see a politician get a very mild call out and actually respond instead of calling the police on us

Oh yeah, gotta be vigilant on this shit and seeing a quick response is all that was needed.

Looks like it was a fuck up

bsky.app/profile/bela...

That's good, he personally does seem like a decent guy so that would've been a very weird thing to pull, especially after being very vocally pro-trans. Hopefully just chalking it up to a social media fuck up

When you fail your 14th attempt at the smile like a normal person test

Yeah, genuinely hope this is just a fuck up but you'd think someone would be checking this shit. The guy isn't even hiding that he's a crank, it's all he posts about?

Starmer looked long and hard to find the last set of suckers in the country who might fall for his bullshit and by Jove, he might've just done it

This is also concerning - yes, it could just be a fuck up and I doubt he runs his own account but also its not great that such an obvious bigot is being followed

"he loves mayonnaise" yeah man, we could've guessed that