jess

i don’t know when this trip turned into an episode of it’s always sunny but i’m pretty done now

we landed and there were no ramp crew. the reason we were given was that “an aircraft was struck by some equipment and stranded somewhere and they couldn’t get around it”

unflattering selfie of jessica on a plane where the flash went off for some reason. she is staring grumpily into the distance

spoke too soon baggage broke something so now we gotta wait for maintenance

all in all, it’s been fine, i’d just kill to have my middle open seat from this morning back and also a teleporter bc sleepy

airport update for anybody interested:
got through bag check+tsa in, no joke, less than 15 mins including walking around the construction zone that is seatac. flight is an hour delayed (they’re staggering arrivals in chicago). this morning it had 34 open seats, leaving with 0 (i think).

update: this woman spent all 5.5 hours of this flight reading literotica 🫡🫡🫡🫡 godspeed my friend

(i knew JUST by formatting what it was, but had to do an extra level of creep to figure out what website because that font is unfamiliar to me, essentially a ff.net/lj/ao3 purist)

a woman holding a cupcake with the words good for her above her Alt: a woman holding a cupcake with the words good for her above her

the woman in front of me on this flight is reading literotica.com on her phone

thank you!!!

YOU WOULDN’T DOWNLOAD A HOCKEY TEAM

(yes i’m making this joke again let me live okay)

omg nooo silenced by big media copyright 😂

YOU WOULDN’T DOWNLOAD A HOCKEY TEAM

(it is not peak because i’m not at a beach YES i am your beach friend GIMME ALL THE SAND)
(the book is do me a favor by cathy yardley. official review from 1/3 in: it’s cute and fine!)

a decently large kid pool 1.5ft deep with another pool and palm trees in the background

woman wearing a pink bathing suit and sunglasses and airpods sitting in a pool. behind her is some chairs and a small building

proud to say i am ALMOST at my peak form. alone, sitting in this kiddie pool, listening to a romance novel, while dad is texting me ice cream choices for tonight.

My congratulations to all Baseball Perverts. It was their "super bowl" last night and it seems they all had a very bad time (in their culture that's how you have a good time)

You have to get into multiple sports because you need some vain hope to immediately replace the one that just got shattered. Do this several times per year

They literally ruin everything they touch

today bff took me out as a late birthday present for lunch at a former dive bar (truly was THE DIVEYEST!!) connected to a dollar tree called "the new local restaurant".

there's no punchline here, this is just what happened. bless u, washington, i missed your weird face too.

I mean, I had to

"you know, use your judgement for cropping and resizing. you know how to do that, right?" - dad, to me, his child who did study graphic design at art school for 3 years

screencap of an email from amtrak for a voucher. important details are blacked out, but you can see that the total value is $40

in case you’re wondering what a 3.5 train delay gets you (full disclosure: that was basically my fare and they gave me the voucher unprompted so that was nice) (it just feels like lol)

"They were at eight [outs] to go when a former Astro, of all people, put a dagger into hundreds of thousands of hearts, then screamed with joy at having done it. It felt cosmically unfair. It felt right."

lbr if you give me a day i don’t think there’s a chance in hell i could regret this magical insane mariners season, but it’s literally the first time in my life i thought there was a chance and so we must deal with a new form of crushing pain first

sports, once again were regrettably a mistake

really glad to be starting out 33 with the weird painful face and finger tingles (my own fault, still annoying) and a painful zit on my earlobe, a place i’ve never gotten a zit in 33 years. cool!

way too many! 💛

💕 luckily i don't have anything to do tomorrow so i can hide in a cave and not speak to another human

finally made it home! they ended up backing up the train to the previous station and then bussing us downtown. i had so much pent up energy that i basically sped walked home in record time. only a 3.5 hr delay of nonsense 🙄

lol the freight train in front of us is apparently derailed so we’re just stuck until somebody can eventually find a workaround