Compact Dad

Y'all ever had an orgasm activate your edibles? I've been stuck on the floor for 25 minutes

Cleaning the factory out after the morning edge

My penis has been looking fucking huge in all my recent vids wtf bro

Of course being snowed in with my roommate wasn't gonna stop me from gooning my morning wood 🤫🤫🤫

Yoooooo lil man, wake up and help big bro out with this thing already jeez.

My close personal friend Adrian Tepes

It's not a competition I swear I just got big loads and pups got so many cute faces and spaces to put it all!!

I mean I GET it but also it ain't exactly like I can do much about it 👉👈👉👈

Omfg why do I keep making mutuals with so many cute pups and then the second we start dm'ing they get spooked and delete... I SWEAR I'M NORMAL 😭😭😭😭

I got breakfast on the stove but maybe you got a different idea for your morning protein lil man? Cuz I definitely do

Who wants to get mercilessly humped first thing in the morning till my curve makes your prostate explode?

Loser stoner gooner big bro

God that's my dream, performing in a call for just my closest bros in our own space 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Okay well you know that immediately makes you the sexiest in the room when everyone else around you is a hung bull right? 😝😝

Coming to the stark realization that quite literally every person from Seattle or Portland I've ever met is hung all the way down to their knees

AWRUFF. Sleepy dog with a not so sleepy bone

What can I say, your Dad stays ready

Edible and tylenol on an empty stomach for lunch today king? 👀👀

Open invite whenever you want it pup 😈

Noooooooo don't make me go to work I'm too sexy and my boner's too hard!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

Y'all ever hear a fagcent so perfect it makes you wanna risk it all?

Breeder business as usual

Gay dog central over here

Made a new friend and it immediately paid off in a trade

Making stern eye contact while you both return your grocery carts to the front of the store is a body btw

Refilling my cabinets with shit from Costco and all I could think while I was there was "dollar fifty meat rocket is what they used to call me in college"

It's quite literally just that easy chat

"What if I beat you up Mikey?"

"I want you to! You got the entire day to do it knock yourself out! Knock ME out!!"

"Okay well I wanna knock you out a different way..."

"Okay well I want you to keep going when you do knock me out babygirl."

And suddenly she's got a puddle between her legs.

Sorry but there's no way you're not pregnant after that lmfao