Beccas can't be choosers

i stayed up too late playing scary video games and i barely even got scared 😞 now i'm going to bed and probably won't even have nightmares?! what the fucj

i didn't. if the dentists find out they're going to kill me for this

just cleaned my teeth for the second time tonight, having forgotten i did it after dinner. fuck! they're going to take away my Teeth Licence!!

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

ghost won't haunt me because i'm too sane. "try standing in a dark room listening to the weird noises i make for 15 minutes while trying to figure out my whole deal" okay first of all, stop stealing autistic valour

secondly, sure thing, that sounds fun

you're welcome 😌

true! if they leave politics, many of them will have cushy industry jobs waiting for them, or big stock portfolios inflated by years of insider trading + corruption

we need a Van Hershey's to slay the fiend Count Chocula

it's sort of ironic that if the US Dems were amoral sociopaths out only for their own power & wealth, they would be *more* effective at passing progressive legislation

like, somehow they have greater loyalty to their class than themselves?! actively working against their own interests, it's fucked

my greatest sin as an anarchist is failing to be pessimistic enough about electoralism. i keep thinking "surely nobody could be *that* stupid!" and they keep proving me wrong

I hope the BBC goes down in flames. I hope the people who work there never find work again.

yeah, shame they're going to get divorced 2.7 years from now, but the couple wouldn't have it any other way

that's my goal lol, make people laugh *and* groan

the worst part about being in the psychic community is getting invited to so many predestination weddings

"thank you for your generous offer! unfortunately significant portions of your country, including the two largest political parties, are engaged in a campaign to exterminate people like me.

"i am, as a rule, against being exterminated and therefore must decline"

the guests we're hosting atm are very nice, but they keep inviting me to go visit them in England and i don't want to have to say "it is indeterminately illegal for me to piss there at the moment"

i didn't want to dissociate today but baby i'm an overachiever (in this and nothing else)

phew, that's a relief!

*forgetting the words "introvert" & "extravert"* uhhhhhh are you an innie or an outie?

*flirting* my brain is evil to me, but i'm nice to others

they are always, ALWAYS looking for a third—but then chicken out right before, every time

cishet couple who "experiments in bed" by swapping who uses the "for him" and "for her" lube

so it doesn't bode well, at least it bodes!

Vote Chamberlain No Matter Whomberlain!!!

the dream, truly

great point! maybe we can channel fisk wherever we need to

i had no idea that's what that was called but yeah, 100%. small serving on a huge plate if you can manage it

it's fine that i'm already insanely frustrated with my aging parents already, right? it doesn't augur poorly that i want to scream at their stubbornness even before they both lose their hearing & faculties, right?

*touches earpiece* ah. i see. well, at least it augurs someway

The model of holding individual senators responsible is broken here. The retirees clearly agreed to take the fall. Which is why the nos should get no credit for voting no unless they move to oust Schumer

need to hang one piece of sublime abstract on a perfectly uniform white wall while classical music plays in the background. that's the fiskmoding strat