matt 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I was like Aleksandr you judgy bitch, What if I am?!

Did *not* think that said “Jetting Off?” on my first read 👀😂

Me this morning vs me this afternoon on my return to work from holiday

And deleted Tinder 😂 can’t stand it 😭

Nearly had a heart attack and thought my car had been stolen, but really I’d forgotten what floor I’d parked in in the multistory car park 🙃

Back in work tomorrow after two weeks off

Go full Karen xo

It’s mainly that my oven is crap and this is the cheaper option 😂 but I love being part of a cult xo

God I wish I could write simple posts on here 🤦🏻‍♂️

I am now joined the Air Fryer Club, about 5 years too late xo

I used to go walking everyday for an hour during the pandemic but I think that was for survival 😂 should do something similar again and build up!

Like a gay, I outsourced the decision to my father 😂 he recommended the Karcher K4 for everyday use. I got mine from B&Q 15% off but I think you can get a deal somewhere!

Slightly unnerving though in the waiting room where there were posters and adverts for “High Blood Pressure: THE SILENT KILLER” 😂😭

They are, which is brilliant. Just annoying as everything else is regular except my blood pressure. Got to chat to the GP next!

I’m not reliable or consistent or have enough will power to be anyone’s accountability buddy. The thought of any exercise fills me with dread 😂

Went in for that check up they give you when you register but I’ve had test after test because my blood pressure is raised 😭

Had to have an ECG this morning at the GPs surgery so treating myself to a maccies breakfast 😂

Need to find some sort of exercise. Running is the absolute worst, couldn’t be me. I tried a swim group last year but they turned out to be transphobic. The idea of a gym makes me ill and gives me the fear.

Just seen a photo of me someone else took and I need to lose a few pounds 😬

a cartoon of homer simpson laying in bed with a toasty cinnamon bun on his head ALT: a cartoon of homer simpson laying in bed with a toasty cinnamon bun on his head

Can’t get out of bed this morning, send help

Forever mood

I mean have a nude time in your garden if you want. Let everything breathe!

I honestly thought someone was sitting in your garden in the nude for a split second 😂

✨ anxiety diet ✨

😂😂😂

Tomorrow’s jobs are putting the furniture back in, re-siliconing the window sill, putting curtain rail and mirror up!

Then I’m finally done with my guest bedroom!

All done with the painting. Glad I trusted the process! Am in love with the colour. Got new plug sockets and ceiling pendant in too today.

Add plug switches to that! So glad I bought a place that needs a bit of renovating, I’m teaching myself new skills.

Successfully changed a plug and ceiling pendant 🙌🏻 💪🏻