Remember kids alliance players go to hell before they die. I'm bbqing just next to the torture rack you're gonna be on forever big dog
Spent the last twenty minutes in warcraft with my crew bulldozing alliance punks trying to jump random low level horde folks outside the sunwell, full felt like this the whole time
Hitman level where you have to save a hoe
waiting for the best buy to open so I can buy a DVD copy of Matilda. Realizing the three grown men ahead of me and the six in the lot are waiting to rush the stands for fucking Pokemon cards. I close my eyes and think of running everyone over with a rideon mower listening to walkie talkie man
Walking around the clearance outlet Midwest sober with my jockstrap visible. I never gave a fuckkkkkk
Had to stop myself from turning to a customer who was complaining about price gouging and saying "no one's coming to save us and we're going to keep drowning" and laughing like RiFF RAFF before walking away
Office has lost power 6 times in a row and they still haven't said "go home" yet
Let Thwomp Top
Eat an Unspecified Number of Bugs
Get Legionnaire's Disease from the Fountain
Catch One of Those Water Bombs and Drink the Whole Thing
Unlock Peach's Liquor Cabinet
Smell This Milk, See if It's Bad
Bowser with a Big Gun
Metal Mario Kills Them All
Never Shit Again
had a dream there was a canned cocktail called Shinjuku Gold that was pocari sweat, alcohol [beer], and nicotine
Pitchford should've done his "very obviously try to grassroots the porno for my game" thing not with Battleborn but specifically with claptrap porn. I want to see the breed of certified freak trying to fuck the Reddit Trashcan that could've been born. Don't show me if they exist today, doesn't count
Applying a new bumper sticker reading I BRAKE FOR DRY HANDJOBS before my new job as a Baptist minister
When you look in the bowl and it's not 90% blood for once #REALSHITTERS
i was a warden... and this was my oath
COLLEGE SLAM
the US operation in Iran
My Sickest Bitch Ever
the yetee determining what text should be on their shirts
