Slippery Nips

I think I wizzed where I was supposed to khalifa

As HR Director here at Antifa Corp., I can assure you we are far from organized.

The professional photographers on stage at rock concerts are just as distracting as phone screens in the audience. WTF is the point of either one??

I think I forgot how to post good

1) pic of Melissa and Mark Hortman 2) pic of Melissa Hortman and dog Gilbert

Remembering MN house speaker Melissa Hortman, her husband Mark and their beloved dog Gilbert. Murdered in June at their home by a rightwing Trump-voting evangelist, who also shot another MN lawmaker and his wife at THEIR home, 9 and 8 times, respectively (miraculously, they survived).

Just an American girl fighting fascism and Mountain Dew addiction

i would eat the rich, i would. honest. it’s just that they don’t fit my macros

Levar meme, no to "son of a bitch" and yes to "bitch of a fuck"

Duolingo app icon looks uncomfortable

Duo looking like he shouldn't have trusted that fart

I got promoted at work and I've never felt dumber

Not straight, not gay, but a secret third thing: unfuckable.

i fear my account was built over a haunted cemetery

Full disclosure… if your post is more than 3 lines, I am probably not reading it

Pretty close, but in the books there are glimmers of hope

America what are you doing and why is it nothing?

Audiobook added to my Sp*tify list! Will get to it after "Beyond Anxiety." Thanks

Today is a perfect day for Excedrin… and that meteor we were promised.

I finally got up the courage to come out of the closet. The homeowners were startled.

get me my formal snuggie

It’s Fuck it all Friday. So fuck me and fuck you too!

A Hero Patch, but one that goes directly on your brain

a small yellow duck is sitting on top of a notebook on a desk . Alt: a small yellow duckling who is fighting sleep on a desk

Just so excited for all the opportunity that comes with a new day!

It's not about what I want.
Never has been

When I say “hit it from behind” I mean karate chop my back, please.

Being lazy af is a huge time saver.

if Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count explain the entire population of West Virginia

As long as there are no left turns, I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go.

I PAID EIGHT DOLLARS WHERE IS MY FEAR BONER