Paul

Like, it doesn't have to be one or the other; we can support reducing the cost of childcare for feminist *and* affordability reasons.

It's one of the major reasons my wife and I haven't had another kid. We want to, but we'd be more than doubling our monthly outlay.

I don't see how it's *not* affordability. We NEED to pay for childcare. Both my wife and I make more than the cost of daycare post-tax, so it makes no financial sense for one of us to quit.

Also, having kids affects how much food/housing/healthcare/basic necessities cost.

Yup. When my son was first in daycare, we paid $340 a week for infant care. That was in fall 2023. Infant care at the same place is now $420 a week. That's a 24% increase. My pay has not gone up 25%!

We now pay $370/week for preschool, an increase of 8%, and my pay hasn't even gone up 8%.

I spent a fair amount of time arguing yesterday about the cost of childcare. 39% of US households have kids, but we're WAY underrepresented on Bluesky, so I think it flies way under the radar of a lot of folks on here. I was appalled at the sheer ignorance of how much it costs to raise a kid.

Regardless of the quality of his takes (I'd say 60/40 good/bad but no one will agree on which ones exactly), he provides a public service because his replies and quotes are filled with people I can preemptively block.

1. Yikes.
2. Gonna remind everyone of one of the teachings of the Gospel of Vonnegut, to wit: "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

So why, exactly, is that particular number silly? There are many parents (myself included) saying that yeah, 32k/yr is a pretty good ballpark figure for the cost of childcare for two kids.

Amazingly, the cost of living is different in California than it is in Delaware!

I can *choose* to eat out less or be more thrifty on optional expenses if I want to save. If I had a fancy car I could sell it and buy something more economical.

Childcare isn't an optional expense. I can't just say "Eh, let's leave the toddler home alone twice a week. He'll be fine."

So I *don't* pay about $20k/year for childcare for a single toddler? Or is it "silly" because I only have to pay it for five years?

People without kids need to actually listen to the people with kids about the actual cost of raising children.

Some of it, yes, but that childcare number is right on, and there's a lot of people whose views I otherwise respect who are trying to claim that the cost of childcare isn't really that much of a burden.

I've accomplished it once or twice without even remembering doing so.

And just so we're clear, this isn't some boutique Montessori daycare. It's the local YWCA.

No, it's the going rate for two kids in upstate New York. Do you want me to send you my daycare bills to prove it?

Yeah, it makes it fucking WORSE if the parent who stays home makes more than the cost of child care. If one parent makes 45k post-tax and the other makes 40k post-tax but child care costs 18k/year, one parent quitting their job is worse financially than paying for daycare.

Doesn't change the facts of the financial burden.

Man, I love smug responses from non-parents demanding we justify our budgets.

Kids need to eat, wear clothes (which they outgrow with alarming regularity), go to the doctor, have hobbies, eventually go to college...

School ends at 2:15. My wife and I don't get out of work until 5. Elementary-aged children cannot be left alone that long.

Also summers! Plus food, clothing, medical care.

Man, there's a lot of people making pronouncements about the cost of child care who are very clearly not parents themselves.

The up-front cost is not the only cost! The money I'm paying could go into paying off debt or my retirement fund or even just sticking it in a conservative index fund. So the up-front cost is temporary, but it has long-term effects. And the cost of kids doesn't magically drop to zero at 5.

And prices are increasing faster than my salary, so it's a continuously-increasing drain on my finances.

Is it worth it? Yes. But it's really shitty to have people just handwave it away as a "temporary cost". I am literally setting 50% of my post-tax income on fire.

Look, I'm gonna be paying around $150,000 in childcare total. And that's money that could go to paying down debt, or be invested. The cost isn't*just* the up-front cost. It's in lost opportunities and increased debt as well.

Yes, yes it is, and you're either deeply stupid or have very little experience with young kids if you think a five year old is capable of taking care of themselves for hours at a time with their parents miles away.

Yeah, no. Kids start school at five, and leaving a five year old home alone for two or three hours is a terrible idea.

It only makes sense if one parent's net income is less than the cost of child care. Then there's also the lost opportunities of five years out of the workforce.

Ask any woman (because it's usually women who do this) about finding a job after being out of the workforce for five-plus years!

Doesn't make it any fucking easier to pay bills for those five years, and it prevents us from saving for their education, among other things.

Literally millions of them do! And it's shitty to just handwave away that huge burden.

Dude, child care is fucking expensive. For one almost-3 year old, I'm paying nearly $370/week. If my wife and I have another kid, which we'd like to, that number will more than double, to about $800/wk, or $40k/yr. So no, $32k/yr for child care for two kids is absolutely a reasonable number.

I know it was you, Charlie Brown. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!