The dog says she’s been in Tibet for 49 years.
The Dog has been plotting her revenge for 7 years if not longer. #yesalldogs
Caught the dog using again. Tennis balls, moth balls, bagel bites. There’s teeth marks everywhere
I bought her a Hawaiian shirt and now she says the Mighty Mighty Dogbones is her favorite band.
The dog just found something no one else Is looking for…
HER TAIL!!!
DOGS > ALL
“I’ve smelled the dankest asses of my generation” - my dog, the beat poet
The dog just finished writing a movie called Barksylvania 2526. I’m so proud of her and I can’t wait for her to share it with you all.
I’ve since fortified the premises
The dog was oblivious to this alligator lizard that was trying to break into the house
My dog is no bootlicker.
Unless I step in something that tastes good
The dogs general strike lasted 7 days. All of you are cowards
The dog is running around in circles threatening me with the taunting stick.
The dog begs for no one
All Dogs, No masters
The dog found a convenient atom to split
And on the night of the 17th the dog dreamt of three rabbits
(And the dog sings)
Pet me once
Pet me twice
Come on, Everybody
Pet me gently
Let meeeee pet that Dogggg.
That dog Dee dog dawg dog
The dog thinks she’s getting into college on a belly rub scholarship.
Came home to a sign that read “future lair of the dog” on my bedroom door
I keep telling her that we can’t use grok to see what the neighbors dog looks like in a bikini
Recreation of the ghost of Ghost Dog
She told me she was visited by three dog ghosts over the holidays. The ghost of Big Dog, the ghost of Rude Dog, and the ghost of Ghost Dog.
The dog is trying her best and it’s good enough for me
The dog keeps rejecting the evidence but she’s clearly the one who destroyed the tv remote
The dog is wearing a hat with an arrow on it that says “im with stupid” It’s pointed right at me.
“Any food that has the ability to land on the floor will now be considered already on the floor” says the dog as she waves her courtroom hammer
This is a fantasy dog account from here on out. I’m inspired
The dog keeps screaming “I’m a Warhawk, I’m a HAWK OF WAR” as she vomits up her breakfast
