Mr John Robertson

When your science teacher is shaming you

Last week, the lovely and screamingly funny Toussaint Douglass said to me, “I love what you do. You’re always performing at the height of your intelligence.”

Which is marvelous as a compliment, but as an insult? UNPARALLELED.

The Notorious N.B.V!

I’m 2 weeks into something that assures me it’s not covid but really felt like it the first week

Huzzah!

Can’t believe nobody wanted to read the articles nobody bothered to write

Surely you called him Rusty

The full stage lineup for Debug Games Festival 2026 is officially confirmed!

Join Ashens, Mr John Robertson, Josh Strife Hayes, Did You Know Gaming?, Mr Louis King, Lucia La Rezza, High Scored, and Sonic the Hedgehog artist Duncan Gutteridge on the Arena Stage this April

25 April // Norwich, UK

Yeah I did slow blink at you dude. It's a form of showing trust. No it's fine I get that you don't want to slow blink back

I hear you! If you mean what I think you mean, I agree!

I loved it! And also loved that they didn’t have the range of say… Aqua

Give this post the short fiction award

Congratulations!

Fair play, 'the mad emperor started compulsively buying shoes for his court, guessing their foot size & his courtiers were too scared not to wear them even when they didn't fit' is some classic, on the nose End Days Of The Empire stuff

I spent infinitely too long convincing celebrated actor Vincent D’Onofrio that it was I who had farted continuously on his recent domestic U.S flight.

Top day. No regrets.

The year is 2035, a man sits with his boy

Son: Dad, did you fight in a war?

Man: I did, son. The noblest war. The Culture War.

Son: And that’s why we don’t have pronouns now?

Man: That’s right.

Son: And why mum left?

Man: I WAS ON A MISSION REVIEW-BOMBING VIDEOGAMES IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT

“I had stuff to do so I turned off the speakers while you were on - and I could still hear you. Three floors up.”
- Jack Dee, Cheltenham Opera House 2026

teenage magritte ninja apples

It’s incredible - different times, mediums and markets.

The size of publishing runs fascinates me - the U.S alternative comix boom in the late 60s seems to have manifested in runs of literal dozens to low tens of thousands and released as often as dopehead hippies could get it together, but release a book that does figures like that now? Gone!

Ahahahaha I’m enjoying the disparity of budget

Twice this week random strangers on the street have just given me marijuana and I’m quite alarmed at this apparently citywide commitment to getting me to calm down

If you’re able to log off for even a few hours I promise you’ll find things offline haven’t changed all that much. We still have playgrounds.

badfaithtimes.com/offline-its-...

These are the 4 things AI can do well:

•Clean up your email inbox (badly)
•Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party
•Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself
•Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday

You can see why we need to base our economy around it

Not beating the geriatric millennial allegations here, but if you want to feel totally fine for 22 minutes, the new Scrubs shockingly accomplishes that. Feels like reading a well written email from an old friend who hasn't changed a bit.

I’m sick today so spent part of the day taking an old anime and making it rude.

I might make it public. Nice to make a silly thing

The Dark Room is back at EPIC48 this July 🍍

Join @robbotron.bsky.social for his legendary interactive comedy show that fuses improv, crowdwork and gaming to create an insane live-action videogame! 🔦

Included in all EPIC48 tickets on Saturday 18 July.

Oh God, whaaaaat have they doooone

You can’t trust what you see in the mirror.
I mean, look at how badly it cocks up text.

Reading the news. Listening to music.

Blondie’s “Atomic” comes on.

Not now, Blondie.