Ryan O'Hara

The job search continues.
I got work making toy pistols but got into an argument with the boss after I said it would be better to use super glue. He said I was wrong and sacked me for sticking to my guns.

Enid Blyton illustration. "That's Nonce Castle," whispered George. "Uncle McQuentin said we must stay away from there."

Five on a Highlands Adventure

Daily Telegraph: Sydney Sweeney is the only woman who could pull off Bond

Not entirely sure if this is accurate.

Cartoon: simple black and white line drawing. A couple in a living room. The man is sitting in an armchair reading a newspaper, head turned slightly towards his wife who is standing at the window, tugging at the curtain and saying "I see the Renegade Master's back once again with the ill behaviour".

My most popular cartoon by a long chalk is also oddly niche, in that it mostly appeals to a generation who remember the song it refers to and enjoy the nostalgia for their youth. I can draw one for you if you like.

www.worldofmoose.com/collections/...

YouTube video by ChristinaLMartin Bullseye - The cruel mistress that is the Prize Board

It's Friday. It's the shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press.
youtu.be/tNqn5bKmKNc?...

I genuinely believe raincoats that are yellow are more waterproof and there’s no science to back that up

“The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.”

―from ‘The End’ by Samuel Beckett

Italian version of Taskmaster looks shit

"My mother said, “Don’t run –
The army is after someone other than us.
If you stay you’ll learn our enemy.”

Then he came, the speaker.
He stood in the square.
He told us who to hate.
I watched my mother’s face
It's quiet.

“That’s him,” she said."

– William Stafford

The only odd numbers that are okay are 1, 5, 9 and 25.

If one of U2 had died late 1990s and then they'd broken up, we'd be speaking about them the same way we do about Led Zeppelin.

I used to go out with a woman called Jacqueline Hyde. God, the mood swings.

YouTube video by alyankovicVEVO "Weird Al" Yankovic - Mission Statement (Official 4K Video)

Perfect.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_...

Greatest algorithmic diss of my life was Norbit topping the “For You” section on my Max acct for like a month straight.

Derry sustainability expert named on ‘Power List’ of top environmentalists A north west sustainability expert has been named one of the UK’s most impactful environmental leaders. Will Ennett was recognised on the prestigious ENDS Report Power List Top 100 for his work to reduce the telecommunications sector’s carbon footprint. The Derry-based consultant was one of just eig ---

Derry sustainability expert named on ‘Power List’ of top environmentalists

A photo of a cup of black coffee on a saucer with a teaspoon. The photo is duplicated and in the second photo various Instagram filters have been applied so it looks heavily processed and unnatural. Under the first cup it says ‘Coffee’, under the second it says ‘Filter Coffee’.

Coffee

George W Bush standing in front of a banner which says "ANGEBALL VINDICATED"

Happy National Roadie Day, to all who celebrate! When I was touring with my first band, one of our roadies was from Slovakia. We had a Czech one, too, Czech one, too

A picture with the caption “Tom Cruise on top of the BFI IMAX in London”

They’re making Cluedo harder and harder to solve these days.

Calista Flockhart’s let herself go.

A wooly goat, its eyes invisible, two simple horns curling back from its head

A ram in need of sheering, its eyes invisible, its horns curling beside its head.

It can often be difficult to tell Sheep (right) and Goats (left) apart, but to the trained eye there's an obvious difference:

While both commit Crimes, only Goats are aware that their actions are wrong, and are thus capable of Sin.

Words To Live By Number 218

A South African man (pre going to drown town) rides a hippo (called Humphrey) like it's a pet. The headline above reads... In 2005, a South African man, Marius Els, adopted a baby hippo after rescuing it from a river. 6 years later, after years of bonding between the two, the hippo dragged him into that same river and ate him.

I'm always saying that there's nothing wrong with wild animals sticking to their true nature so to condemn this would be... hippo-critical

Tower of Ding.

Death by Shakespeare Causes of 74 deaths in Shakespeare's plays #ShakespeareDay

Death by Shakespeare
Causes of 74 deaths in Shakespeare's plays
#ShakespeareDay

I voted for you but please don’t deport my wife. I’m special.

INTERVIEWER: If you could be any animal, what would it be?
ME: A horse
INTERVIEWER: Because you work intelligently and quickly?
ME: No because I want a stable job

fucking hell what a marketing stunt