10k to waterproof the basement.
I was at a tourist attraction in Hyderabad, India and some schoolboys wanted a photo with me because I was foreign but then other people saw what was going on and thought I was some kind of celebrity. So there are probably 50 photos of me standing with random people out there in the world.
Never came, BTW
It's not a quote but I often say that something has a SEP field around it, which is why no one is doing anything about it.
I just ate some Poptarts that were best used by 2020. They tasted just fine but I can now hear colors and a talking pangolin is challenging me to a game of Kerplunk.
I enjoy this song more than I think I probably should. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Uy...
Listening to music with my Bose noise canceling ear buds this morning and a song came on that starts with no music, just echo-y footsteps and for a few panicked seconds I was convinced someone was in my house. 😂
Currently I'm at at 14.7% opens, 0.4% clicks and 0.4% unsubscribe.
I'd forgotten the thrill of sending out a promotional email and then obsessively refreshing the report to see the click-through numbers and checking to see who unsubscribed.
He just likes big butts.
Advance tickets for the 2026 festival are on sale now! We're back this year with even more music, food and fun! Visit incredibleindiafestival.com and use code EARLY at checkout for $2 off tickets. Sale ends March 31!
Let's go, India! #INDvsNZ
Instagram really thinks I need an electronic family calendar for my refrigerator. You know, to organize my family's schedule. I didn't realize the other voices in my head needed scheduling.
I was very excited to buy a foaming soap dispenser and I have to say that so far it hasn't made my handwashing experience as magical as I thought it would.
Happy Holi! The Incredible India Festival returns for their second year! Mark your calendars for Saturday, July 18 from noon - 10pm. Extended hours means more delicious Indian food, more singing, more dancing and more summer fun! Visit Incredibleindiafestival.com for more information!
Random movie quotes.
His lips are busy!
As soon as that camera is off, he gonna fuck that little dog.
What IS THE, Mr. Wang! What IS THE meaning of this?
There's the phone booth where I lost my virginity!
Why do we even have that lever!
So what does that make you? The only whore in Chili Verde!
Am I religious? No. Am I spiritual? Well if by spiritual you mean do I wish that a supernatural entity would rain pain down upon my enemies, then yes, I am very spiritual.
My kingdom for a muscle relaxant
Let's go, India! #INDvsPAK
Chicken biryani lunch from Baithak of Punjab. The Salaam Cola is halal!
Ask a vague question, get a vague answer
Is there any bigger drama queen than a trade person explaining to you what's potentially going to kill you in your home? Yes, I know the basement walls are damp. That's literally why you're standing in my home. No need to ramp up the panic meter to 11, buddy.
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
We live on a 4.5 billion-year-old rock that's traveling 67,000 mph through space but I'm sure your latte is "the most amazing thing ever."
In Wisconsin today, a dairy cow comes out the barn and if she doesn't see her shadow, we have six more weeks of cheese. #groundhogday
I can hear this photo
