Twonson Junior the Third

a ricki lake screenshot of a very 90scoded man named mike. the lower third says he “WANTS TO TELL HISVALENTINE CRUSH SHE HAS "BODACIOUS BAZONGAS"

happy valentine’s day

A bouquet of a dozen yellow roses in a purple vase and three gifts wrapped in shiny red paper waiting on the end table

♥️Woke up to this on my first Valentine’s Day in Love♥️

whomst for the drain yearn

loose hairs are living organisms who yearn for the drain

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

Feeling EXTREMELY vindicated that I kept telling friends and family in 2020 “I think they are letting us die on purpose to thin us out.”

“No. No. This will not be my day today.” - Me, out loud just now when the 2 ply started to come undone

Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.

sometimes I pick up my phone knowing I am about to feel stupid as fuck when I google whether something is true and the answer is “of course not”

Age verification? The first web site I ever went to was zelda dot com and it turned out NOT to be about the video game

legit made me feel better

a new morning, a fresh new round of rejections

transition is a choice that anyone can make for any reason, and if I do it because of the Latent Transsexual Genes Lurking In My Head and some other bitch does it because she wants to attract lesbian librarians by bending over in a pencil skirt by the periodicals we are both right to choose it

my politics

Upon arriving at any destination with any friend of mine:

“Mitchell, honey, put your shoes on, we’re at Grandma’s.”

Post a banger that isn’t in English

youtu.be/pUJeiEva0Hw?...

to be on this web site is to be annoying

Me in front of the Bitch Fest step and repeat in a red formal dress huge open mouth smile my hair let down very long and wavy brunette holding a little gold statue for winning Best Original TV Pilot

Throwback to one year ago yesterday when I was winning my little award in Los Angeles

lol I follow so much hentai on here this put me next to all the Japanese folks

if I ever get an office job again I’m gonna have to mute a whole lotta porn accounts on here so I guess I can never work in an office again

A girl on her knees with many slices of pizza around her face. Her mouth is open in a suggestive way and each slice is labeled "girldick" while the girl herself is labeled "me".

yeah sex is great but have you ever stopped your girlfriend from falling for an extremely convincing scam saving her $4000? somebody is buying me sushi train tonight bby

forget movies where the cast are all muppets with one famous lead— I want a movie where just one minor character is played by a muppet. It is never acknowledged.

pronouncing lofi like Loki

things women be having: [image of the flesh of a fig] - a tendency to eroticize the grotesque [image of an ouroboros] - the inability to experience romance without the desire to consume and be consumed [image of various handwritten correspondence] - handwritten delusions [an image of a painting of two women in a kitchen, one embracing the other from behind to kiss the firsts cheek] - a desire for someone to come into their kitchen and be hungry for them

gender.jpg

nothing fills my heart with joy like hearing my love’s voice groggily call to me “CUDDLE???” from the other room as she slowly wakes in the mornings

I didn’t mean to like all your posts in a row that’s just how bluesky showed em to me

No pictures, where are you at mentally? I’m here

I Saw the Devil