Real Elon Sucks

Just got labeled as Rude today….fff…hel…heck yeah.

(Puts on sunglasses and turns up the Steely Dan)

Endlessly giggling over something Greg “The Hammer” Valentine did in 1992 is an essential good in 2025

Hear me out Bronson Pinchot as Pinhead

“We have such sights to show you …and now we do the dance of joy!!

Hy! Hy! Hy! Hy!”

(Meanwhile at GOP HQ)

I’d like Val Kilmer back please. In exchange may I interest you in a lease on a lightly used JD Vance? Or a 12 year mortgage on Stephen Miller?

Wow!

I didn’t know you could get sunburned by a spray tan

Bragging about being an incest baby

(Lays down chip on bingo card)

To be fair I thought most of the films characters were because they were so pale but then I read that the actors were British.

“..focus is not on politics of division”

Oh?

Taking your wife with you to every function of your job is the new GOP “you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would ya?”

So we’re not getting the full Ladyballers trilogy?

Yeah but what else could we spend that on ?!?? Cancer research!!???!!! Pfffft

At this point Pete Hegseth is going to show up in fake mustache and glasses, call himself Heet Pegseth, and announce he’s been appointed “The Bomb Czar” by Pete Hegseth, which will all be leaked in a record your own message birthday card sent to Rachel Maddow

Breaking: Mike DeWine allegedly has anal warts…they’re simply huge. Allegedly.

This made me choke on the rind but the lack thereof has left me empty inside

There aren’t enough stinkfaces readily available to give these 4

We had a clone meeting of Elons and voted him most likely to be a whiny piss baby. Strangely, Vivian Wilson won most likely to dunk repeatedly on their father.

Rust colored sweater. Raglan sleeves. Garter stitch collar

Current work in progress:

I had abandoned this for 18 months. Took it back up today. Harvest sweater, tin can knits. #knitting 🧶

Joe Klopfenstein is the Nathan Overbay of 2006

It is my vision and duty to see Louisnana brought to fruition and nominate this man to run it

I dutifully nominate this man as new leader of Louisnana

Truth but also a terrible acronym
(EAIACW)

But they’ve all said they’ve given up porn? They haven’t watched any porn at all. 100% porn fre…aaand they’re running away.

Oof

But can we get a full LP of your medieval tavern drinking songs? Asking for a D&D friend.

Wow!

Somewhere Pete Holmes sat up from his chair:

“a sad waffle cone full of half melted tutti frutti froyo needs me”

Pfft well yeah, now that he has control of those leftist controlled weather weapons it’ll be 76 and sunny everyday from now on right?? Right???