Lt Cmdr Jamie Gates

Oh, great!

*She flung her arms out to one side in exasperation*

I've already spotted Davy Crockett with frosted tips and sunglasses, carrying a chili powder musket and wearing multicoloured armour, calling himself the Iron Chef!

And I forgot to mention, everything seems to be happening in 19th century San Antonio...

*Arms crossed and head tilted to one side, she stared with one raised eyebrow toward the comm panel, holographically hidden, from which Bashir's voice emanated.*

Anything else I should be worried about?

...if you'll excuse me, I now have to convert that unused cargo bay in lower pylon 2 into a legendary culinary escape room.

As politely as can can, I'd like to ask you two to help get the program un-fucked, because every time I try to exit, a low-res @hologuyfieri.bsky.social pops up and repeats "Uh uh uh, you didn't say the magic word..."

Alright, whose holoprogram is "Diners and Dungeons and Drive-ins and Dragons and Dives?"

She just wanted the fries. Instead she got fried.

You realise that this "attorney's" 1980s self was one of the customers affected by this "client", yeah?

Dammit, Alf, I'm an engineer, not a legal counsel.

*reading quietly on the promenade*

"One trusting in fate, being devoid of human endeavour, perishes..."

Currently debating the degree to which I want to paint a target on my own back. The commissar Dukat picked to restructure Starfleet announced a single-faith "prayer service" at HQ. I'm strongly considering "accidentally hitting reply all" to "politely" ask if they'll have services for other faiths.

"There is poison in the fang of the serpent, in the mouth of the fly and in the sting of a scorpion; but the wicked man is saturated with it."

*If she had a drink, she would've choked on it*

The Ta-...? You're joking.

*She squinted at the Vorta*

Besides, is that *really* the kind of information you should be giving out this freely?

Well, in fairness, when you... one of you... shows up here, it's rarely a good thing.

*mumbles under her breath*

For me, at least.

*She straightens and looks at Weyoun squarely*

I don't think we've been properly introduced. In these iterations, that is.

Wha- oh no... heyyyyy, how's it going? Can I direct you to the diplomatic corps or the brig?

I can't vote for someone who would eat another of the holy whatever's creatures

I'd make a goddamn incredible Pope

*Jamie knitted her eyebrows together and threw up an arm toward the thing*

"And me? I'm an engineer and occasional pilot who moonlights as a spy. What I'm a supposed to do, float on up and sneeze on it? Please, tell me you have a plan."

*She just kind of stared at the... thing, mouth working in confusion and frustration, but no words coming out. She looked to Scougs, then back to the thing, then back at Scougs.*

"Okay, just what in the Hewlett Packard Lovecraft is that eldritch horror?"

Yelgrun? I haven't been keeping track on which clone they were on; was he the still the one who sings punk rock?

Less of the food and more of the rocks, I'm sure. I can't understand how we still have facilities like that... correctional reform feels like it's been taking steps backward instead of learning from its mistakes.

Did you get the hosting gig through an outplacement program, at least?

All you can eat meals of non non-descript brown mush? Feather pillows full of Denebian spine-hawk quills? Access to fitness facilities of rocks, rocks, and more rocks?

Club Alpha? Sounds swanky, *she replied with a hint of sarcasm*

I don't envy the policymakers who had to decide the level of "support" the Federation provided for them, but I won't argue that balls were dropped in that arena.

*She sighed and swirled her mocha*

Anyone with a conscience should've been asking themselves if or how they could have helped.

I mean, I wasn't keen on the whole "going rogue" phase. How did you actually get out of Cardassian custody, anyway?

a man in a dark room with the words " it 's never happened " above him ALT: a man in a dark room with the words " it 's never happened " above him

I love the time when you said the thing didn't happen.

// (3/3)

"Now, this didn't really happen, but if you agree someone needs to face disciplinary action, why is this worse than leaking battle plans and putting servicemembers at risk?"

// (2/3)
"Someone from the [favorite NFL team] front office accidentally sent their draft plans to [insert NFL reporter]. They're lucky the whole thing didn't get published, or their picks would be totally screwed.

Someone's gonna get hammered for this..."

// (1/3) to all those struggling to get through to those who don't understand the severity of the Signal faux-pas, maybe pose the situation in terms they can understand.

I'd like to suggest a sports analogy, as written in post 2-3/2

"Hands off the hardware, flyboy. Shuttlecraft will be maintained as-issued or with approved modifications to maximize fleet interoperability during periods of armed conflict. Last thing we need is ten thousand dammed customs not playing nice with each other."

"Special projects are another matter."