astra

You are the authority

there's one surefire way to feel even more creeped out by orson krennic...

"think about what this man has done thus far. a man who does what he does is specifically seeking an outlet for gothic heroine behavior."

I think about this daily.

it is curious how many of us feel thespis's hand on our backs, nudging toward Him (and Her). must be the heightened empathy. certainly can’t think of any other traits to explain it.

the targeted ads for “thinking *f you” found me so fast (🎭+✝️)

last night I dreamed he was doing a show, saw me in the crowd. after, we took turns poking at the past. then he brought me backstage, burst into tears. my only impulse was to comfort. I can still feel my hand on his back.

in that first fan letter, age 15, I used “I” as an object 5x

I feel revoltingly unfaithful when I try to write about this…the door still slightly ajar. I pretend I’m an anthropologist—observing, dissecting. but I know that’s not all I’m doing.

a huge draw is the hunt for evidence, proof that It Was Real. but those moments also give a jolt of power and a thrill I still can’t shake. these are inevitably the bigger draw.

a string of awkward messages, the suggestion of a suggestion—still so eager and unsure. I resent the buzz that worms its way through my veins, but I smirk imagining the same sensation, mirrored, miles away.

adrenaline tries to seep through my fingertips, to inject pathetic moments with an absurd braggadocio. still, still, still…

I survey the ample space between sparse lines; there’s so much relief in not having to pretend that it’s Good anymore. I can fill it with anything I want now.

had too much **** last night, then started spiraling because everything I encountered online felt like a psy*p.

some of you have never been blasted into a state of ineffable transcendence and it shows

if s*x doesn’t feel like a threesome with God then I don’t want it. I’ve had better.

I took a flight today with a captain savage (f) and first officer lore (m). hope they talked to each other.

the pied piper did those kids a huge favor, imho

YouTube video by Science Explained Astronauts Forget Gravity Exists When They Return to Earth

every day I feel a little more like an astronaut who has forgotten how gravity works

anyone know a way to send fan mail directly to the spiritus mundi?

my writing feels like food nobody asked for—over and undercooked, spiky with eggshells, an abomination prepared by an absolute child. I can’t shake the image of someone chewing it while trying desperately to force a smile. but it is also a gift of unadulterated love (from me to me and me to You).

when you build a cathedral, you have to start with the crypt

👋 someone who likes to think you do