Punkrockbeth

I would like to repeat that I believe my therapist to be a very powerful wizard.

Do you know about the Avril Lavigne Replacement Theory?

What will you call it?

The one on the right is allegedly Alexis Stone, drag/makeup wizard.

One on the right is drag/makeup artist Alexis Stone, allegedly.

I WAS RIGHT THESE ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON

GLP1s? Try being so stressed out that all you can keep down is cereal like the rest of us.

a green coffin is sitting in a dark room in the water . Alt: a green coffin is sitting in a dark room. the lid moves off & a skeleton comes out & glows

when u wake up from a nap & it’s 8pm

My appreciation for the Muppets grows as I age.

Man. Remember when Cutlass Supremes had straight up velvet upholstery?

Gandhi believed a father could kill his daughter if she was raped. Maybe we find someone new to quote?

My first car, a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, had one and I used it proudly. Felt like my MiMi in her Crown Vic. There was something so decadent about smoking cigarettes in a giant boat car with a plush velvet interior.

I am not looking for a politician to explain why blowing up 100 little girls is good

Wait till they hear about Girl Chow, which is just ground up boys.

“Keep the tip.”

Pfffft. My vote is for What We Do in the Shadows.

Best part of being a grownup is being able to go to bed whenever you want, even if it is only 6:57 pm.

And by Dylan I mean my partner, not Bob for heaven’s sake.

I am no fan of Hillary Clinton. But I don’t think Lauren Boebert should be permitted to question her. Bobo isn’t fit to lick the shit off Hillary’s sensible flats.

They should add matinees to every show and performance for people with heart conditions that go to bed at 8. (Charlene Kay is performing here Friday and while I love her, I don’t stay up past bedtime for anyone but Dylan.)

Lol sports are so gay right now I love it.

If Jesus came back now, they would lock him up at Dilley and take his sandals.

First time I saw a pileated woodpecker in real life I was so startled that I yelled, “WHY ARE YOU THE SIZE OF A PENGUIN?” at it.

Shout out to tegaderm bandages for real.

Sorry to make you hurl but glad you agree etc

Thanks for showing us your planties.

Jim Carrey next to Cim Jarrey or something.

I am not usually into conspiracies but these are not the same person.

Going from “not talking to your dad for 17 years” to “he knows you are having a hard time so he calls you with a pep talk every couple days” is a wild ride to be on at 45 years old.