intr0vert1go

Maybe they like not being trodden on once in a while.

Straight to the bottom of the class.

Actually, for your information, I would say boo to a goose.

Or baby to a partridge. Or honey to a quail.

My point is I really like birds.

"face creams or slutty teenager", that's comedy gold. 🤣

Freshly squeezed Na'vi tears.

It's how I tell people I'm coeliac.

Yeah, he was one jolly mofo is what I heard.

Whoever came up with the phrase "laughed like a drain" has clearly never been near a drain.

If your laugh sounds like the muffled gurgle of something that's slowly digesting a fatberg, then you need medical attention.

Void adjacent is my default setting.

Rendered invisible by spectacles.

Crap Musician: I'm totally self-taught
Oscar Wilde: How gallant of you to take the blame.

A living room hush by Jaga Jazzist.

The Presbytere for the Katrina Exhibition. Very well curated and moving.

You're my favourite. ❤️

Sometimes I feel the cold, dull constricting hand of solitary living around my heart, the lonely trudge through life in this industrial hellscape of a decaying provincial market town.

Today I ate chocolate biscuits for breakfast and weed in the shower, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Me: [screaming into The Void]
The Void: Shut the fuck up.

I remember that post, the replies were amazing. peak-scorn.

The English language is curious isn't it.

You take something that is thick skinned and hard to knock off its pedestal and you call it a coconut shy.

Hope she didn’t scald her lips on the boiling water.

It's your parents house, isn't it.

I just wrote "chivalry is not deaf" by accident and for some reason I like it better.

Yes I did pick up the dead pigeon outside our office and put it in the bin in front of you all standing there not all heroes wear capes some are just a middle aged man trying to stay relevant so please put it on tick-tock or temu or whatever I need a nap.

me too!

Captain Cocke was not at home is the best euphemism for erectile dysfunction.

He wanted to say "I am the music", but Manilow beat him to it.

I feel seen. Woman at the Health Food shop thinks I'm addicted to chamomile tea.

Card propped up on a bar with the words "Have you checked out our tasty dog menu?"

Ate here last night and feeling a little ruff this morning.

Me looking for my bow tie.

That looks Epic!

Nymphs and satyrs are woodland creatures from Greek mythology who were famous for their excessive sexual drive and wild orgies.

A woman who has an uncontrollable sexual desire is sometimes called a nymphomaniac.

A man who has an excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire is called.. a man.