astra (akademiya era)

yesss zenni is great!! i went with kits last time because they came out with a collection designed specifically for asian faces (low bridge/high cheek struggle) but i've used firmoo and sllac in the past as well... i have a lot of glasses.......

ooh i usually only use eye drops when i have contacts in but now that i think about it, the tired feeling is very similar! i might try carrying them with me now thank u

this is a good point actually it might be my glasses?! i got transition lenses for my new ones and i don't think they have screen-friendly/blue light coating which i have had in the past... maybe time to get ANOTHER new pair

i'm finding the most satisfaction in fic that just. totally ignores canon. maybe even disrespects it! there are so many things that were done badly. godawful even! it's up to us to do it better 💫 the ultimate fix-it

there's a distinct cognitive dissonance in hating jkr more as time goes by, but also being determined to keep one of my big formative ships (genuinely a huge part of how i came to love and embrace queerness) close to my heart

my subconscious imagination sent me to drarryland yesterday and i gave in... ALWAYS around the winter holidays i swear it's pavlovian

anyway maybe they did know about the MSG hoax and it's not that big of a deal, but somehow i find myself wanting to spare the reminder anyway. i'd rather they sleep well and think of happier things!

so it's a little empathy, and probably some improvement in communication and understanding as a result. a better parent-child relationship that i'm happy to treat gently for the remaining years of my parents' lives, rather than constantly fill with guilt and pain from the past as i very well could

it's strange wanting to protect my parents from emotional pain now when i was HAPPY to blame them for all of my problems as a teenager (as teens do) but with the passage of time, i grew up and realized how hard being an adult really was. i don't even HAVE kids and i'm overwhelmed all the time

because truly, i don't blame them! i love canada, and the one-child rule in china meant i wouldn't have even existed if they stayed. i respect their struggle more with every year that passes; my struggle to be accepted was valid too, but it wasn't their fault. it was systemic; built-in.

i often have to catch myself in a convo with my siblings where we'll be reflecting on the discrimination and hate we grew up in, and i have to make sure our parents aren't listening because how could it be anything but painful to realize your decision to immigrate put your kids through that?

idk if any other diaspora feel this way but i just had this moment while cooking where i thought, "i wonder if my [older, retired] parents know the MSG scare was completely made up because of anti-asian propaganda" but then realized i didn't want to add to the burden of racism they already carried

realizing an issue that has just gotten worse for me over time/with age is screen fatigue... i used to be able to stay glued to a computer for 12+ hours with no issues but even just trying to read academic article pdfs for longer than 3 hours at a time is killing me

i can't believe i've been sleeping on cogimyun and ebifurai for so long like it just did not occur to me that i had a hole in my heart the exact shape of a wheat flour girlie and her tiny fried shrimp bestie but i've now seen the light

it's so weird to have real life thoughts in your super fake dreams because my coworker texted me about getting starbucks this morning and after i fell back asleep i dreamed about a severe rainstorm and thought, "damn i hope she's gonna be ok getting her starbucks"

having an elton john phase and realizing i really have become a middle-aged lesbian

feeling much better today!! i am so pretty and smart and funny

it's kinda funny how i know more about the nyc mayoral election than whatever is happening in canadian politics right now

"who radicalized you"

Nothing radicalized me, I was born with basic empathy. The world decided that was radical.

ok. i need a walk. maybe a long walk. if i accomplish absolutely nothing else today i can at least say that i went on a walk.

this sort of shit is exactly why i'm trying to learn more about what is even going on in there but it's ironic that my psychological studies are exactly the thing that is being impeded. it's almost like there's a little adhd demon in here, aware of the target i've painted on it

fighting for my life through adhd paralysis despite taking my vyvanse... most of the time it works but sometimes my brain is simply too powerful

wipes a tear... i missed living my best parisian life

i had a dream that my article review deadline got extended... it was only a dream... sobs

nevermind your girl is not getting an autograph after realizing how much they cost... ai-kon spoils us SO bad by offering first item signed free 😭

man........ jyvk was soooo good though. if i DO think about it too long it fucks me up bigtime. i still can't believe they did that and it was allowed. GOD.

there was a GOOD block of time where all i did was read and think about jayvik but like everything else that isn't hkv the raging flames settled into a comfortable simmer that i think of fondly every now and then

anyway i very rarely pay for guest autograph stuff but i think. the version of me who was obsessed with arcane a few months ago deserves a va-signed viktor print as a treat

ooh first time hearing about that one! kinda sounds like interac if it's accessible through your bank 🤔