count stefancula 🦇

*if I was a teacher*
Open ended questions are multiple choice. Infinite choice is multiple

i may never skeet a banger but at least i have a life. what? you post bangers, are an expert in your field, and have a healthy social life? ok, but have you ever opened a fun sized starburst wrapper and it had a red AND a pink piece?

Pic of church sign: Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever It is captioned with: when my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been

Logging on, gm

nootropics is homeopathy for tech bros aka techbromeopathy

I love the power of debate

Today is sort of wednesday today is sort of wednesday

happy thanksgiving week gentlegoblins

nootropics is homeopathy for tech bros aka techbromeopathy

It left a hole in my heart when I got my atrioventricular septum pierced.

There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.

I’ll pay like 15 bucks to get food delivered but drive 5 miles out of my way to save a quarter on gas

commenting 'ai slop' on a high school acquaintances fb post of their newborn

Grant me the serenity to change the things that are minor inconveniences.

a gofundme for me to get a new toilet because my wife gets mad at me every time i clog ours, but it’s not like i have control over how big my poops are

how much gorilla mind energy drink did its inventor have to drink before they thought “gorilla mind” would be a product brand a person sees and thinks “it’s true, my mind isn’t gorilla enough!”

i like how the discover new music stream plays songs from beck’s odelay album because i can pretend i’m a time traveler… and i’ll be there when everyone hears korn’s freak on a leash for the first time… and i’ll be the only one who knows how it’ll all turn out 😏

they should make the cup industry adopt standardized lids and straws, like they did with phone chargers

they seriously need to stop making so many hyper specific specialty shovel variations, both of my shovel sheds are at capacity!

weird, when we were at the hospital and they were prepping me to donate my kidney to you, i am pretty sure you promised me that you wouldn’t miss my improv show for anything in the world, but i didn’t see you in the audience. are you kidneying me??

Don't rly appreciate the word "miracle" being used in the title of skin care products

you’re just a skeleton holding up a bunch of flesh that was designed to be a vessel to carry poop around

Sad beautiful woman looking out the window. Its raining outside. The caption read " i posted a banger but everyone is at work rn"

Alas

weird, when we were at the hospital and they were prepping me to donate my kidney to you, i am pretty sure you promised me that you wouldn’t miss my improv show for anything in the world, but i didn’t see you in the audience. are you kidneying me??

they seriously need to stop making so many hyper specific specialty shovel variations, both of my shovel sheds are at capacity!

A Zoom meeting screen with several participants displayed at the top. Below, a gray cat is sitting at a table, raising one paw as if participating in the meeting. The setting includes a granite tabletop and chairs.

“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”

“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“

they should make the cup industry adopt standardized lids and straws, like they did with phone chargers

Ah, the hopeful joy of wearing a new shirt, and the quiet fear that it changes nothing

i like how the discover new music stream plays songs from beck’s odelay album because i can pretend i’m a time traveler… and i’ll be there when everyone hears korn’s freak on a leash for the first time… and i’ll be the only one who knows how it’ll all turn out 😏