Shopgirl diaries:
Me: (playing NUEVAYoL on the shop speaker)
People who come in: (muttering then laughing to each other)
People leave almost immediately.
Good riddance. Sorry not sorry that your lack of rhythm is tied so closely to your lack of understanding.
Before degree: under qualified for most jobs.
After degree: over qualified for most jobs.
Smashmouth was right about at least one thing - the years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’.
He yells, again, “tell me! You have to! Everyone does!”
His guardians are raising him to be a creep. I would feel sorry for him but after I said no three times he tried to spill the Diet Coke he was slurping like it was the elixir of life on my desk, so I think it’s too late for him.
Shopgirl diaries: I greet two women thy come in with a child (probably 8 or 9 years old). They do not respond.
Child runs up to my cashier desk, yells “I know you!” I respond that I don’t think he does, to which he responds “okay then tell me your name!”
Reader. I did not give him my name.
Shopgirl diaries: a woman pushes on the door and then stares at me through the window until I turn the doorknob for her. “I wasn’t sure if you were open” while she stands directly in front of the ‘We’re Open!’ sign on the door.
“Everyone else is closed today.”
Unsurprisingly, she bought nothing.
I hurt so much more than I remembered this would be. Losing a pet is heartbreaking enough - losing her unexpectedly far ahead of her average lifespan has destroyed me. I already miss her so much. SO much.
Shopgirl diaries:
Two older women come in and peruse the shop. One looks at me and says “I feel as if I’ve met you before. You look very familiar.” The other, behind her in a half-voice, says to me “she just got out of jail”, looks at me with meaning, then cackles and prances off.
Shopgirl diaries:
Had a customer ask me where the bird shop in this spot went. Ma’am. This is home and sustainable goods store, and before that it was a quilt supply shop, and before that a cafe. There has never been a “bird shop” and I have been so confused since she left.
Anyway, Judy who escalations finally transferred me to after they told me there was no one further - you’re a real one, and if my couch finally comes today because of you, I would like to send you cookies because you are the one shining light of redemption in that whole godforsaken company.
FedEx is THE. WORST. Today is day 3 in the saga, the third time they said they’d deliver it.
Today I called to find out where my delivery was around 1:20pm. Their automated system said was marked as undeliverable at 1:57pm.
I need all businesses to stop using FedEx, because this is unacceptable.
Chub is rolling in his grave. Y’all should be ashamed of yourselves. (Congrats to ORLY for becoming the giant evil auto parts corporation we always knew you could be. Jerks.)
1) he’d be understanding about my limited knowledge, and wouldn’t judge me for it.
2) he’d have the best snacks. I’ve seen his opinions on food. Yes.
3) as a woman, I’d feel safe losing some inhibition around him. He gives off safe vibes.
In honor of the new season of SmartyPants coming out on DropOut tonight, I re-watched one of my favorite episodes from the first season. I am officially deciding Jacob Wysocki would be a great person to have a blaze sesh with, even if I’m not a cryptid:
Doing an overnight collagen mask cause I can’t sleep so why not, and I cant decide if I’m looking forward to or worried about J’s reaction to this when he wakes up before me.
Can I just get. A fucking. Break.
Today I learned that you shouldn’t lift your arms above your heart when snow shoveling after you turn 45 because it increases your risk for a heart attack - something about an uncommon action? So that tells me I need a new workout to make that common, cause I’m definitely forgetting that in 8 years.
I click on ONE seller link for a seed tray in the ticky toky app, and all my video recommendations turn to gardening 🌱 tips instead of my usual “gardening” 🍃💨 tips NO TAKE ME BACK I HAVE VARIED INTERESTS STOP PIGEON-HOLING ME
Sometimes I wish I could watch the Virtue/Moir Free Dance from the PyeongChang 2018 Olympics for the first time all over again.
At the ripe old age of 37, there are certain things that I have favorites of - comfort food, coffee, animal, game, tv show - but I really should have expected that I’d have a favorite auctioneer, too, despite the fact that I’d never have that net worth to attend.
(It’s Phyllis Kao guys, obviously.)
