regular sized ackman

(peering into the cage of the monkey next to me) whatcha got there? Cloth Mother? Nice...nice. Me? Eh, I got the Wire Mother. Nah, it's not so bad. Can't pick your family, you know?

Never seen a sheep act sheepish. What's up with that

[Sheepishly holding a dozen roses in the altar line] I know Ny'althek is the "Blood God" but I just thought like, isn't everyone bringing blood? Mix it up a bit y'know

[Dog Bluesky] guy keeps putting dog balls in the dryer

i guess life topside aint so shabby. the Soil can Wait

The night was hot and so was she. But the case was cold as ice. The room itself was a moderate temperature, not unpleasant. Humidity was pretty normal, if a little on the dry side

The Cousin Long March

Going out on the cousin walk and coming back with an extra cousin

Going out on the cousin walk and coming back home with one fewer cousins

You telling me I have to let this pig suckle on me?

Braveheart was pretty cool almost makes you wish Scotland was a real place

"Don't kill the messenger" what else am I supposed to do with him. Shake his hand? Rub his shoulders? Lock eyes with him over a romantic candlelit dinner and kiss the back of his neck?

Scribes! Jot this down - "reminder: kill scribes"

Ah, ircling vultures. If vultures do one thing well, it's - okay well actually it's piss and shit on their own legs for temperature control. But if they do two things well, the second one is circling

What? You don't need a tuppence? I very got more money than you and *I* need a tuppence!

Woke 1940s guy: dont call them 'broads' bro

[Frantically patting down my pockets] My tuppence!

They’re making rush hour 5 but Anya Taylor joy is going to play both Jackie Chan and Chris tuckers characters and timothee chalet is going to play…..idk someone else

a football should be a living creature that is very violent, with sharp teeth. and also there should be a light at the end of the tunnel. there should be a heaven worth waiting for

Me: [Rubbing my red and welted ass] okay but in Bartleby the Scrivener-

Boss: [raising cane and one eyebrow]

C'mon down to Drillin' Dave's Trepannery, we are doing a 2 for the price of 1 special. Bring a friend, or just get 2 done for yourself so you can pass a string through and tie down your cap. Ride the loop-de-loop with impunity!

The bell tolls for me? Bell needs to quit dick riding

Got bricked up and caked up hoping there was some achievement called like The Bakery or something. Turns out achievements are for video games only. My whole life has been for nothing.

Call me Gordon Freeman the way I'm beating my Jean(ph) Worm

This 102 year old diner for giants still grinds its bones for bread the old-fashioned way

Living in a realm with giants is basically "easy mode" for ossuary crafting

The Lord🫱hating 7 things🫲Miley Cyrus

💥🤝💥

I take pride in the name "boner". My father built ossuaries, I built ossuaries. And after a brief break while my son pretends to be a woman on the internet for money, my grandson too will be a boner.

I met Andre. I had dinner with Andre. And you, sir, are no Andre.

Hey, welcome to my catacombs. Come on in, just pick any old pile of bones to sit on